Angel's Blood
by ttiiggeerr
Summary: An Adopted Story! Bella meets Edward when she's already a vampire, and goes to New York City and sees him in his rebelionous state. They go back to Alaska so they can go back to his old ways when Tanya kicks her out.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

Passing through Alaska posed no problem, though I had been expecting at least some sort of resistance. The area was bare, all dead deciduous trees, thriving evergreens, and large patches of thick, white snow. I wore no cover and my movements were quick as nothing blocked the path between one forest and the next.

Denali was empty of life, or so it seemed. In the frozen weather, I doubted any sort of 'real' life would be out. A few rabbits fled from my path, sensing the predator deep within, though I was sure their tiny eyes could not detect my quick movements.

A few hours and I was standing atop a snowy hill, overlooking a vast amount of flat, white space. Snow had settled into one smooth plain, completely untouched. The surrounding area was devoid of human life, not even the occasional home to be seen.

I was more cautious, now in the open. I had heard much about the strange coven that lived in the area, part of the reason my heart was now trembling in my chest. I forced the cowardly feeling back and, with a large breath, stepped into the open.

It was a good sign when nothing pounced on me, as I had half been expecting. I stepped further, and my feet met the soft snow. I felt no cold, the flakes as frozen as my own skin, but the wetness seeped through my jeans. I grimaced at the strange wetness; it made its way through my shoes and soon my feet were swimming in it.

In my discomfort, I failed to notice the approaching figures. There were two males, both fairly lean, their posture strange. I glanced up, and seeing them, stiffened my body, as if hoping my pale skin would melt into the snow. Unfortunately, it did not.

They came ever closer, until both of them stood less than five feet from me, though we could have spoken with no trouble over the vast distance. I noticed again, their anomalous posture.

One man, handsome beyond imagination with light, golden hair and frightening eyes to match, stepped forward- the leader. The other stood back a few steps, his eyes narrowed, brows furrowed, fists clenched. I turned away from his fierce expression, unnerved.

My dead heart was pounding wildly in my chest, unheard by anyone but myself. To be cornered by not one, but two, strong male vampires, obviously capable, was not what I had planned. I nodded at the leader, turning a fraction of an inch away from the other, blocking him out. I chose not to startle them just yet with my bizarre power.

"Hello," the blond began. He raised his hand for a moment, toward me, as if he wished to shake mine, but it fell back to his side immediately. I almost laughed; these were a strange species of vampire.

I nodded my head just a trifle, refusing to speak while my vocal chords trembled.

"I am Carlisle Cullen, and this is my... son, Edward." He motioned to the strange boy standing beside him.

Son, I thought. I had never heard of a vampire refer to his changeling as a son, but these Alaskan bloodsuckers were known to be different. I turned in the boy's direction reluctantly, barely glancing at him as I gave another short nod.

My heart had settled just a little at their obviously kind display, but I was still unsure. I took a deep breath and spoke:

"I am Isabella Swan," I paused, curious, "You are different." I felt somewhat silly stating the obvious, and my cheeks felt hot with embarrassment, though no blood rushed forward, and there was by no means any heat to warm them.

Snowflakes danced overhead, carried by the wind. Carlisle nodded, his golden hair moving from place in the breeze. "We are. And you are the same."

The bronze-haired boy, despite his peculiar frustration, gave a small cough, a hidden laugh. My eyes snapped to his, surprised once again by the molten gold shimmering within his irises. He held the gaze. Carlisle turned to him and Edward's eyes snapped away from my own; they stared at each other in a prolonged silence. I felt confused and misplaced while I watched their encounter, as if they were speaking somehow, but I could not hear what they were saying.

Carlisle turned back to me, and Edward ran a discontent hand through his velvety bronze hair. From the corner of my eye, I watched it fall back into perfect order, a mess over his eyes.

"Would you care to join us in our home?" Carlisle asked in a controlled voice, perfect calm. The stretch of muscles in his jaw betrayed his cool facade.

"No thank you, I would prefer not to interrupt." I took a single step back, feeling my foot slip back into the snow.

Edward stepped closer, then, so he was right beside his leader. He held out a palm, "No. I mean- it wouldn't be prudent for you to stay out in the cold." He gritted his teeth, a sharp, slicing noise.

A smile flicked up the corners of my red lips, almost unwilling. I gave him a sympathetic glance, sure he was taken away by my unnatural beauty. "The cold does not bother me." I turned to Carlisle. "Thank you for your offer, but I was only passing through. I will be leaving shortly, likely for the States."

He nodded understandingly. "I ask that you do not kill in the area."

With a single inclination of my head, I turned, slipping back into the forest. It was not until I was hidden deep inside that I let the exhausted breath escape me. For a moment, I had been sure I would be killed. The vampires were different. They were calm, peaceful, human. The monster always so close to the surface of my mind had been tortured into obedience in them, I could tell; their posture, their looks, their eyes.

For the next seven years, I would be haunted by the image of those golden eyes, so different, so mystifying, so lovely...


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

The sun dipped below the horizon, its final rays melting into the mixed hues of pink and blue clouding the sky.

I stepped out from my shadowy alcove; first one pale, curving leg, a black heel making a tiny click on the cracked pavement. Then came my body, scantily clad and statuesque. I stood for a moment; sharp, burgundy eyes hidden beneath long, black lashes scanned the narrow street.

Two broken footpaths took over nearly half the street and left only a thin road, barely fit for a single car, let alone two-lane traffic. There were no cars, though, only suited business men making their quick way back home.

I pushed further into the street, on the edge of the sidewalk, and lifted my petite nose in the air. A torrent of delicious aromas wafted through the air; lilacs, roses, petunias, daisies, lilies, sunflowers. It was ambrosia. I licked my lips, eagerly anticipating another feast in the cover of a New York night.

A few feet to my left, I heard a sigh. A man sat on a waiting bench, unaware of my predatory gaze, hungry eyes and thirsty lips. His hands cupped his face, young and overworked, while he watched the street for another taxi.

I moved swiftly, sitting beside him and crossing my legs before he could even look up. His eyes widened as soon as he took in my figure- long, curvaceous, and bare. The exhaustion leaked from his face and longing took its place. He leaned closer, unaware of doing so, and breathed in deeply, taking in the exotic fragrance of my venom.

My mouth watered. I inclined my head to him as well, my mouth at the level of the base of his throat. My lips pressed against his skin, eliciting a breathy moan from him at my icy touch. I let my tongue slip out, tasting the warm skin, feeling his pulse thrumming beneath the paper thin skin.

He was mine.

From the corner of my eyes, I saw a dented, black car pass by; the taxi.

Moments later, I stood in a dark alley many streets over, pressing the man into the brick wall, lapping at his succulent life body was limp, only my own holding it straight. His pulse slowed beneath my lips, his skin lukewarm, then chilled.

The last few ounces of his blood flowed through my lips, disappearing down my ravenous throat. I pulled away from him, running a tongue over my lips; they were thickly coated in the blood.

I stared at the man, collapsed, his breath stolen by none other than myself.

Without warning, something brushed my shoulder. I turned quickly, but only caught a glimpse of a white blur disappearing around the corner.

I knew what it was; another vampire. In my deep thirst, I had not taken the time to sense for others in the area. There was another, though, despite my ignorance.

I tossed the man in a large, green dumpster, feeling my heart squeeze with guilt, and ran around the corner into the street in search of the vampire.

It had been almost a decade since I had seen another vampire, and there was a tug towards another of my kind; I could not let the opportunity pass me again.

I followed slowly, pausing many times to thrust my nose in the air and split the luscious scents of humans from my own kind.

The trial was thin, the vampire moving quickly. I wondered briefly if they were running from me, but shook the thought from my mind.

It took only an hour, but to me it felt as if it was forever. To think there were so little vampires in New York and I could hardly follow the one trail forced doubt in my own tracking ability.

He stood shadowed in another dark alley- a favorite place for our kind. I saw only his silhouette, half hidden behind a pile of discarded boxes. It seemed he was waiting for me, as if it was a game, but as I neared him, my steps slow and cautious, he crouched.

He was facing away from me, his back curved as if to pounce, legs buckled, body coiled. I realized he was hunting, and turned to leave, afraid he might think I was challenging him for his meal.

Turning, I caught sight of something even more strange. To his right, cowering behind the shadow of a tower of pungent trash bags, was a small girl. She was thin and frail, face hidden behind stick-like wrists.

I could hear her sobbing, while she watched, almost unwillingly, as the vampire pounced on the man.

My own eyes were glued to his form as he bit into the man's neck and drained him in a single second. He pulled back, eyes wide as he stared at the crumpled man. The vampire stumbled back a few steps, still watching the ruthless rapist lying in his own blood, neck twisted at an awkward angle, as if he could not believe he had drank him.

He turned to the girl and said something I would never forget:

"Go. Leave. You're safe." He waved a gory hand at her, blood dripping off his fingertips.

The girl was frozen, her eyes wide and unblinking. Frightened whimpers tumbled from her lips and in a flash she was unstuck and running, skidding, stumbling, out the alley and around the corner.

The girl did not see me, but the vampire did.

He turned and stared. His eyes were shadowed by his messy, bronze locks at first, but then they snapped up and his brow furrowed. His hands clenched, his mouth twisted, and frustration filled his bloodred eyes...


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

His hateful glare intimidated me at first. I felt the muscles in my arms clench, as I watched the bands in his jaw do the same, contracting tightly.

His fiery eyes blazed, scorching, but I could not look away. I was unable to recall the amount of time we stood in the darkened alley, challenging each other with our eyes. I attempted not to cower in the elongated period; it felt as if we were there for hours, but it could have been mere seconds.

He spoke first, his teeth glistening ominously in the dim light. "What are you?" His words were harsh, biting.

I felt a small smile crawl across my face. His question seemed somewhat amusing, his frustration suddenly laughable.

"Whatever do you mean?" I asked lightly, a lilt in my tinkling voice. I cocked my head to the side, giving him the most innocent glance I could with my devilish eyes.

He blinked a few times, obviously taken aback. My talking shocked him.

I could not help but let the laugh escape me, allowing it to bubble and then froth over, like a bottle of champagne, but more elegant; chimes tossing in the wind.

He frowned, sliding further into the alley's shadows.

"Wait," I found myself reaching for him. Catching myself, I pulled my hand back and clasped it with my other, surprised at my own actions. "I'm the same as you- no different."

He took a few steps closer, watching me with an unnerving intensity. His forehead furrowed again, aggravation tugging at his brow. "But I can't...your mind, it's like a blank wall," he whispered, leaning towards me.

A smile found its way over my cheeks again. "My power." I nodded.

He glanced at me with ruby eyes, shock replacing his irritation. "Your power? That must be something... strong, for you to be able to blockmy power."

"Of course it is." I chided myself for allowing my ego to inflate any further. "Perhaps you'd like to learn more about it?" I tilted my head toward the entrance of the alley, the glittering New York lights flitting across the horizon on cue.

He still watched me in the demoralizing way, eyes much too sharp- not to mention captivating- for my taste. I pulled my gaze from his and glanced down at my wrist where a thin, silver bracelet sat, the chains delicate, but worn; a glance at the ancient heirloom calmed me.

"All right," he sighed. He ran a pale hand through the mop of silken hair and it fell back across his brow, a piece of fringe framing his cerise eyes. "My name is Edward," he added after a moment of thought, lifting his hand in a gesture I remembered another fair-haired vampire doing nearly seven years prior.

"I know." I smirked at his curious expression and turned to lead the way, sure his eyes were on my swaying hips, or a region slightly below that.

An endless expanse of ebony colored the sky. Pinpricks of light were scattered across its surface, as if someone had powdered it; messy, but in a perfect disarray.

Somewhat like Edward.

His emotions were constantly changing, but the particularly delicious anxiousness was virtually tangible in the inky blackness.

The grass tickled my bare legs as I crossed them beneath myself, settling on the field of growth.

Edward simply stood over me, staring down with confusion- something that seemed forever fastened to him.

I pat the space beside me. "Sit," I urged.

He folded himself adjacent to me with caution, careful to keep a space between us. I, on the other hand, felt confident he could not hurt me. He was no longer a newborn, as he had been those many years before, and that was where the main threat lay.

"What would you like to know?" I asked, once he had ensconced himself, leaning against a tree's thick trunk.

What confused me was how crisp and proper he was, his posture nothing like the catlike stance I took, or the vulgar habits I possessed.

He clasped his hands together, staring at his fingers. A short breath of air tumbled from his lips. He regarded me, eyes gleaming. "Everything."

I chuckled, both finding his words hilarious, and feeling elated at being able to hold a conversation with another; one whose blood did not tempt me.

"I can't possibly tell you everything. But I'm sure you might remember me by now- Isabella."

He nodded diligently. "Of course I do. You're the vampire that came through Denali. The one with the red eyes."

I fluttered my lashes at him. "They're still red, if you haven't noticed. And yours are too- now. Care to explain?"

He raised an eyebrow.

"Golden eyes aren't particularly common among our kind," I explained, "I remembered." I raised an eyebrow and tapped the side of my temple in an exaggerated gesture.

His cheek lifted, a short smile, but it fell back quickly. "I've decided to change my eating habits."

I waited, expecting him to continue, but he sat stubbornly, gazing at the ground as if he could not feel my stare.

"Why?" I finally asked, lifting my chin as if daring him to refuse my question.

Another sigh heaved from him, this one larger. He seemed to collapse before my eyes, not physically, but in an emotional way.

"I was changed by a 'vegetarian' or that's what we like to call it. You were right in saying there aren't many of my kind- barely any at all. The only ones I know of are my own small coven of three and another in Alaska. Esme just joined us a few months before your visit, as Carlisle's mate- you remember him, don't you?"

He did not wait for my response before continuing, as if suddenly possessed by a demon, one that would not allow him to cease relaying the story of his life to me.

On the other hand, I was absolutely fascinated. I could not keep my eyes off him, watching as he spoke; full, red lips moving in a blur. His hands twisted together; sometimes his fingers itched towards the grass, and he would pluck a blade, rubbing it between his thumb and forefinger, all the while continuing to speak.

"...and in the home, with no freedom, and the never ending scents always bombarding me the moment I stepped out the door... It was like torture- I couldn't handle it. So I left, with much sorrow, of course, but it was a choice I could not help but make."

He uttered another sigh, this time actually sliding to the ground. It seemed the careful facade had crumbled, and all it had taken was a tiny push towards his past. I stored the information for later.

I was tempted to brush back the glossy strands of hair, always finding themselves over his eyes, but those aforementioned orbs snapped open just as my hand was hovering over his head.

I tugged it back, pulling it behind me. I could not find what had possessed me to make a move like that and possibly humiliate myself for the rest of eternity. It must have been the lack of association with others- social deprivation.

He regarded me, his sanguine irises cautious.

"Now your turn," his velvety voice mixed with the breezy air, melting into the black curtain surrounding us.

I pressed myself to the ground, so my head lay beside his, and allowed myself to be lost in the expanse of darkness above me, focusing no something past the millions of shimmering stars.

"I was born in London..." The story began.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

"As a human?" Edward asked softly, voice floating to the heavens above.

"As a human." I inclined my head. "I believe I was between the ages of ten and fifteen when my mother finally grew tired of living in the gloomy place. She never enjoyed the city life. She left my father, taking me with her.

"We moved to a small town in Italy. I don't quite recall...what it was called." I paused, frowning, as I attempted to remember the simple details. Nothing came, only the blank slate that remained of my human memories.

"And...how were you changed?" The rough voice he had used before, in his fear and confusion, was now a peaceful tone, musical and calming.

"Have you ever heard of the Volturi?" I did not turn to him, but I felt him flinch at the name, a common reaction.

"Of course," he answered gruffly.

I smiled, nodding. "I would be worried if you hadn't. Well, I was a human, and I did not know of the Volturi, or vampires in general. I believe the one who changed me was part of the Volturi, but I can't be sure. It was my fault; though my mother had always disliked cities, I found them fascinating.

"I was eighteen by that time. I convinced my mother to take me to Volterra as a gift for my eighteenth birthday. It was many hours from our rural home, so we stayed in an old woman's home.

"I will never forget the first morning we awoke. The woman was gone, but my mother told me to think nothing of it. She believed all city folk were messy people, like my father had been; she said the woman was likely at some sort of wild gathering, but I felt uneasy. I should have known- it was a foreshadowing.

"We explored the edges of Volterra that day. I forced my mother to make me the promise that we would go into the deeper part the next day. I could hardly sleep that night, so I decided to sneak down and see if I could have a snack.

"A man stood in the kitchen. He was watching the stairs as if he expected me to be coming down them soon. I only know darkness after that.

"I awoke a few days later- and after so much pain- beneath a willow in the rolling hills of Scotland. There was no one with me; it took me a very long time to realize what I had become. I spent the first two decades of my change searching for my past, and that is all I've found."

Just like Edward, the release so many emotions collapsed me. I sunk into the earth, letting my fingers grip the strands of grass, nails digging into the soggy dirt.

I felt his gaze on me, but I continued to watch the stars, memories of the last four decades flicking across my mind like an old film.

"I'm sorry..."

The whisper shook me from my thoughts. I turned my head to see Edward watching the stars as well. He felt my gaze and shifted to see me, our faces inches apart.

"Why?" I mumbled, confused. What did he have to feel sorry for?

"I couldn't imagine so much time alone. How frightening must it have been to wake up one morning and not know what you were..."

I could not figure out why I was suddenly smiling, but the way he watched me, red eyes glittering solemnly, churned my stomach pleasantly. He was the first to understand.

We lay in silence for much longer. So long, eventually the sun moved before we did. It lifted above the horizon, first peaking over and surveying the land. Then it floated high above, spreading its rosy fingers and enveloping New York in its warmth.

I turned to Edward. He seemed to be asleep. His eyelids covered his chilling eyes, and he looked just the man I remembered from Denali. A soft breeze lifted a few strands of his hair, attempting to carry them away.

I smiled; even the wind wished to run its fingers through his satiny hair.

"Edward," I whispered after I had filled my eyes with him. I nudged him lightly, feeling a shock run through my hand. He felt so warm, though he was just as cold as I was.

His cerise eyes opened slowly, reflecting the light like drops of freshly spilled blood, and the warmth evaporated.

I shifted away from him inconspicuously and glared up at the sun through its blinding light. It was already noon. We were lucky the heavy tree protected us in its shadow.

"Perhaps we should move," I suggested, nodding my head at an ornately dressed woman eying the two of us suspiciously.

Edward grunted in agreement, his eyes on the woman's large husband who, in turn, had his gaze fixed on me, or rather, my extremely bare legs.

Edward looked at me too, pursing his lips thoughtfully.

"Perhaps you should change," he suggested lightly, looking away.

I knew his reasons, but I could feel how uncomfortable he was and a game was a game.

"Why would I need to do that? These clothes are comfortable." I pulled my legs out from under me and stretched them luxuriously, peeking at him from beneath my lashes.

He still refused to look at me. He was so flustered, it was cute- in a completely childish, third party observer way, I reminded myself.

"It does look comfortable," he agreed, running a hand through his hair.

I raised an eyebrow at him, attempting to hide my growing smile.

"I mean to say, Bella... They are perfect clothes for hunting, but they attract far too much attention to us." He twisted his fingers together again and again.

I cocked my head innocently, eyes wide. "I don't notice any more attention than usual."

He frowned. "Do you always wear clothes like this?"

"Of course! Sometimes I wear even less." Not.

His eyebrows rose higher and higher, his eyes growing wide. I could not help but let the laugh leak through now, a wide smile flashing my pearly white teeth.

"I'm just joking. This is a 'special' outfit for hunting. I have extra clothes stashed away. Would you like to help me retrieve them?"

He nodded, still looking confused and flustered.

Alleys, such wonderful places for creatures of the night. They were shadowy even in the bright, springy sunlight.

Edward and I remained beneath the tree's shadows, moving quickly between them, but once we reached the alley, relief cascaded down my spine. I knew were were safe in the darkness of the alley.

"Is this where you hid them?" Edward eyed the rank trash bags furtively.

"No one would dig through trash in an alley- especially one as disgusting as this." I pinched my nose, gagging on the sickly sweet scent rising from all around me. "It's back here."

Edward followed me quickly, holding his breath, to the very back of the alley. I reached behind a pile of flattened boxes and pulled out a black, cotton tote bag; exactly where I left it.

We stood at the edge of the alley, watching the road, but hiding from the sun. "It's too bright to go out there now. And there are too many people watching," Edward stated obviously.

I nodded, glancing around with worry. I could hardly stand being among the putrid scents for a few minutes, but until the sun went down?

"What now?" Edward wondered aloud.

My eyes paused on a dark, horse-drawn carriage. I pulled the black tote tight against my chest as it paused only feet from the entrance of the alley.

"Come on!" I tugged Edward's sleeve. We moved quickly, almost in one leap, to stand beside the carriage.

Edward pulled the door open and gave me a push towards it. I slid in quickly, reveling in the sudden darkness, and he followed as well, closing the door behind us.

"Excuse me! I was just about to go to a luncheon. You two will have to..." The angry driver paused. His eyes widened when he caught sight of our beautiful faces, shimmering in the dim sunlight.

"I'm sorry, sir." I glanced at him sympathetically. "It will only be a moment."

"Well, yes. Of course. I suppose I could be a few minutes late." He pulled his glazed stare from me and began fidgeting with the reins, agitated

Edward grinned at me and I suddenly felt embarrassed. I turned to the window and pulled the velvety curtains back a few inches, ignoring the driver's flowery blood and watching the street begin to pass as the carriage moved.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

The block was small with scarcely any shops, I noticed as I watched from my window.

The carriage continued across the bumpy road, and I saw other horses pulling carts along; we were in the smaller part of New York. The ride was uncomfortable, and hot. The spring sun had leaked through the clouds and was pouring from the windows thickly.

Edward had pulled the dark, velvet curtain over his window, effectively casting him in the perpetual shadow he lived in. He leaned back in his seat, eyes closed, arms crossed over his chest. He seemed to be napping, but we both knew it was not possible.

The driver, on the other hand, did not. He continued to cast longing gazes in my direction- desiring, daring, disgusting.

I turned from him, eager to leave the confined space. I heard Edward chuckle under his breath when the driver had turned for almost the twentieth time in the short ride.

I wrinkled my nose at him, feeling annoyed. Ego deflated, I turned back to the window, enjoying the wind that flapped the curtain back, though I only peeked through a tiny space, afraid of the light touching my skin and turning it to diamonds.

"Stop here!" I called.

A tiny building stood on the edge of another block. It was perfectly square in size, and with my unnaturally strong sight, I could see it was almost empty. On top of that, it was a woman's clothing store.

The driver let us go reluctantly. Edward had no money, which made sense as we had no use for it, but I was always prepared. I pulled a few crisp notes from my bag and dropped them on the driver's lap before hopping out the door and right through the other- which Edward held open for me like a good gentleman.

Despite our ragged appearance from a night spent on the ground, the shopkeeper began following behind us, leaving all his other customers behind.

"What can I help you with, miss?" he asked. He was short, his head barely reaching my elbow. His high voice pinched my nerves and I was so satiated even the scent of his blood did not attract me.

"Nothing. I can find it myself." I waved him off, moving to a rack and beginning to shuffle through it.

"Are you sure, miss? I believe we just received a new shipment of jackets."

"No thank you," I insisted, attempting to further myself from him.

I glanced at Edward, hoping he could use his three foot advantage to frighten the man, but he shook his head at me, chuckling.

"I could use some help, sir." A woman a few years older than me- in appearance- stood behind the shopkeeper. The air about her was regal, but he shook her off the way I had done him.

"In a moment." The shopkeeper turned back to me.

I sighed. "No sir, you can help Miss..."

"Stanley- Jessica Stanley," she huffed, tossing her thick head of curls, each one perfectly polished.

"You can help Miss Stanley. I don't require any help at the moment, but I assure you, you will be the first to know if I do." I turned from him again, this time moving down two racks, though the clothing in these were not to my taste.

From the corner of my eye I saw the shopkeeper pull his stare from me, reluctantly, and help Miss Stanley, with not nearly as much vigor as before.

"Thank you for your help." I hissed to Edward, so quietly I might have been talking to myself. Especially since he was still leaning beside the door, as still as a statue.

He was beside me in a few quick steps. "I apologize. I should have been more gentlemanly. You never told me your power though, and I must admit I haven't stopped thinking about it. Yes," he continued when he saw me open my mouth in protest, "you told me your story, but you never fulfilled the obligation you set yourself in- to tell me your power. It was the first question I asked you after all..."

"You asked me what I was first," I laughed, "Is that why you've been acting so strangely?"

"No more stranger than usual. Your power?"

I raised my eyebrows, my eyes darting around the store. Jessica watched us from the corner of her vision. When she saw me looking, she turned her head back to the jackets she was admiring, her cheeks flushed.

"Here?" I asked skeptically.

"Well, if not here, then let's find a secluded place." He raised his eyebrows suggestively.

Secluded, I thought, feeling my throat become suddenly dry.

"I just need some clothes," I managed to say.

"And we retrieved your bag...why?" He nodded at the smelly, black bag, limp in my hands.

"It has money in it. And some special items. Maybe I'll tell you one day, but for now you can still revel in the mystery that I am." I tossed my hair at him, laughing quietly, and made for the racks I had deserted earlier.

I stepped from the store cautiously. The sun had momentarily receded behind a thick tumble of clouds, but you could never be sure how long it would remain that way.

I stood beneath the shop's jutting roof, pressing my back against the brick wall beside the door.

"Here," a whisper in my ear sent me back, battering the bricks.

Edward pulled away, an unsure look in his ruby eyes, as if he was confused how he should act. His lips twitched and then he smiled. "Your reaction was unexpected," he snickered.

"Your arrival was unexpected," I shot back, "Where were you?"

"I was waiting outside. It's harder for me to control my thirst and you take an incredibly long time to pick out clothes."

"We can't all shop at vampire speed," I huffed.

"Well, while you were wasting time buying useless clothing-"

"It's not useless, Edward."

"Fine, while you were shopping much too quickly for the unimaginably important and much needed clothing, I found a way to escape this sun." He nodded at the ball of furious light hovering directly over the square.

We were pressed to the sides of the clothing shop I had just exited, our backs flush against the crumbling brick, hidden in the partial shadow of the roof's end.

"And where might that escape route be?" I asked, doubtful. Edward seemed an amateur vampire to me.

He took my hand, his slightly warmer than my own, and pulled me to the end of the block, still forced beneath the alcove.

"Here."

We paused at the edge of the clothing store, and the roof's shadow. The sunlight trickled past, like a spotlight, wavering on the edge of our sanctuary.

"Where?" I looked about skeptically. There was no shadowy place around.

"Here, for goodness sake," Edward huffed. I laughed inwardly at his motherly expression of distaste. He tilted his head around the corner.

"Oh!" I gasped.

I had thought the corner led to another block for sure, but this was a dead end, a curving circle full of shops; the only exit was the way back.

"Alleys again," I sighed, both relieved and aggravated.

I let Edward pull me around the corner and deep into the alley in one swift movement. We stood in the narrow opening for a moment, both surprised at how thin it was. We could hardly fit, side by side, shoulder to shoulder, across the width of it. I pressed myself flat to the wall, glad to be in the shadow of another alley, but unhappy with the rank odors coming from the dumpsters.

Edward seemed to be thinking the same thing, for he had stopped breathing, his muscular chest held perfectly still beneath his black shirt.

I realized I had never paid attention to what he was wearing. It seemed the only thing I had seen of him was his face, his hair and eyes themselves enough to keep mine full. His black shirt, short sleeved, pulled tighter across his chest, emphasizing his muscles. The khaki pants seemed strange, so easily dirtied by blood, but it was a versatile outfit for all occasions.

"How do we 'escape' this place?" I asked, pulling my eyes from his body.

He was already watching the other end, which I had failed to look at. From all my experience with alleys, they only had one end, but this one seemed to lead to another place.

"Through there." I nodded, answering my own question.

But Edward shook his head. "No, see how much light is there? That's just another block. We can't leave through there."

"Well, you could be more optimistic," I sighed, "Now what?"

"And you could spend more time thinking," he was quick to reply, "There." He pointed upwards.

A smile pried apart the corners of my mouth this time. A little exercise was exactly what I needed, I thought as I gauged the distance between the ground and the roof of the next building.

"Let's go!" my voice was high with the barely contained excitement.

Edward grinned at me, his bloody eyes sparkling gleefully. Good and Evil came to mind, a disturbing combination of both in the once innocent boy turned murderer.

"Do you need to change though?" he asked, eyes flicking down my form. He looked sheepish when he met my gaze.

For once, I felt embarrassed at my lack of clothes. They were already ripping though, for some reason unable to handle the friction of my body as I ran vampire speed.

I shrugged. "All right, I suppose. I did snatch something useful along with all those skirts."

"You bought skirts?" Edward raised an eyebrow.

"Amateur," I muttered. I knew he heard, but he said nothing, only grimacing when he thought I did not see. "Could you turn around?" I asked pointedly.

He fumbled for a moment, attempting to give an excuse for why he had not turned earlier, but gave up with a sigh and twisted, his back to me.

"Cover your eyes. And you better not look, or I'll have to use my power on you," I warned.

I pulled open my tote bag and shifted through my newly bought items. There were two knee-length skirts, one black dress, a shirt, and a pair of shorts I had stolen from under the shopkeeper's nose.

I pushed the skirts to the bottom of the bag and pried the shirt out, along with the shorts were longer than my current ones, and well made, but I was surprised the shop even had them. They had been on the floor behind the counter, covered in a thin layer of lint, and I was sure they were an accidental shipment. Usually those types of clothes were only found in brothels.

Though they were a few inches more decent than the ones I wore, they still barely hit mid-thigh. The shirt was an improvement to my current. The one I wore for hunting and seducing was tight and uncomfortable, but this was more breathable, the fabric black and silky.

I tugged my clothes off, eyes boring holes in the back of Edward's head. He looked like he twitched when I took off my undershirt, but I had my new clothing back on so quickly it was barely recognizable.

"I'm finished," I announced when I had thrown my old clothes among the pile of garbage bags.

Edward turned slowly, his eyes closed.

"You can open them," I laughed.

He sighed, his lids fluttering up to reveal deep, scarlet irises. I shivered, turning from him, and walked to the wall of the building opposite the clothing shop.

"The sun will hit us right as we reach the roof. Then we'll be glowing and sparkling like fireworks," I realized, "How do you suppose we work that out?"

"I was hoping you would put on more clothes." Edward said suddenly. He was eyeing my new outfit with distaste.

I felt a strange satisfaction in it. "Do you expect me to be able to climb in skirts?"

He frowned. "No, I suppose not. But it would be easier to stay hidden if you covered more skin."

Now is stung. "I apologize for my lack of decency. I'll go right away to buy twenty yards of cloth and wrap myself in them so that you can be happy." My sarcasm was biting.

His frown deepened. "Then I apologize for offending you."

"You didn't offend me."

"I did."

"You didn't."

"No need to deny it, Miss Bella, I assure you, you were offended."

"I wasn't."

"You were." He nodded.

I put my hands on my hips, leaning forward aggressively. "I assure you. If anyone was offended, you would know right away." I raised a fist menacingly. "And you can trust that I would know if I was offended- which I am not."

"Well..." he grinned crookedly, a dazzling smile, and rubbed the back of his neck.

"I accept your apology though, and simply must add that my clothing is perfectly decent. And I hope you realize we'll both be glittering in the sun- not just one of us. So I'd like to say that I'm disappointed you didn't realize how sunny New York could be in the spring when you came here and I'm shocked you packed so little. Furthermore-"

"All right, all right." Edward held up his hands, palms out. "Truce?"

"Truce," I huffed. My hands slid from my hips and Edward relaxed.

"Ready to climb then?" His grin was back on, brighter than before.

I nodded excitedly.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Edward insisted he go first, to make sure it was safe. It felt natural to argue, but I held my tongue.

I perched on my tote bag, refusing to let my new, white, shorts become covered in dirt.

The view was brilliant; cool shadows hiding me in the din of the alley, but the sun's full blown force above. Edward contemplated the wall directly opposite me and I could not help myself staring at the back of his figure, admiring the muscles in his arms.

The wall was tall, much larger than the small one against my back.

I gave an exaggerated yawn. "Are you going to start climbing anytime soon?"

"It's hardly a climb," he grinned back, cocky.

'Climb' was a strange word for it. I knew we vampires could clear the wall- and maybe six buildings over as well- with just one jump, but the amount of spring had to be just right, or we could land in another block, right in the sun.

"Well?" I asked after another five minutes had passed.

"You're so impatient," he complained, his voice high and childish. A grin coated his lips though. "Yes, I've figured it out."

I leaned against the wall, eager to watch this unfold, but more eager to carry out my devilish plan. His ego had to be deflated somehow...

He bent his legs, elbows following. His arms swung back for momentum. Then he stood straight. He bent his legs again, and I saw the his heels twitch in his sneakers as his leg muscles tightened repeatedly, trying different coils.

It was like the pressure put on a spring. More pressure, and the higher the spring would jump. The tighter the muscle coiled and the higher he would fling himself.

Being a vampire was more difficult than it seemed.

He finally finished gauging and flashed me a quick grin before bending his knees and swinging his arms, hopefully for the last time. The toe of his shoes pressed into the ground hard and he was about to jump...

I watched his form, swinging into motion just as he pushed his feet into the dirt.

My eyelids fluttered closed, blocking out the world's noise, and the sun's light as I focused on my power.

A band of energy- invisible to all but myself- suddenly connected us. I could feel everything in his muscles, how tight they were, how strong they were, how exhausted they were. His mind suddenly poured into mine. His thoughts were unreadable, like brail or gibberish.

I could not understand what his mind was saying, but I knew what it did. And I blocked it all off. I blocked his power- a mind reader- and I blocked his vampire energy.

...just as he sprung. He lifted less than a foot off the ground, then tumbled back to earth, falling on his backside.

My eyelids flickered open. A small cloud of dust particles, each separate and visible, hovered in the air. I lifted an arm and it felt as light as air. I brushed hair from my eyes, but felt nothing.

My movements flowed, graceful as a stream of water. The strength of two was now my own.

Edward sat on the ground, watching as I lifted myself into standing. His jaw dropped. He saw something in me that I could not see myself, perhaps the way I moved, the lithe, graceful steps. Twice as graceful as a normal vampire, twice as lithe, twice as light.

"What... happened?" he sounded drunk.

A twinkling laugh, silent as the wind, beautiful as a harp lifted from my throat.

I floated over to Edward, feeling as though my feet were not even touching the ground, but when I glanced down to check, they were simply gliding across it. Each footstep, just the tiny twitch of a muscle, carried me further and further.

I moved back and forth in front of Edward twice; I felt like a balloon, the thinnest of strings holding me to the ground, as if I could go floating above the horizon. The third time, I stopped in front of Edward. He still sat on his backside, the exact position he had fallen in when I had stolen his strength. His eyes were wide, unmoving, mouth agape.

I pressed one finger beneath his jaw and flicked it upward with the tiniest sliver of strength. His jaws snapped together immediately.

"Wow..." I breathed, captivated by the feel of it all. "I've never done this before," I confessed.

Edward finally recovered, shaking his head as if there was water clogging his ears. "How did you even know about it... and what did you do to me? I feel so... weak."

I smiled sympathetically. "I took your strength."

"My power?"

"No, your power resides in your mind, most people's does. And our minds are all like pieces of a puzzle, but different puzzles. We can't fit together. I would never be able to take power from your mind, because I don't understand it."

"So you took my... strength?"

"I've never done it before," I said again, shaking my head. Even my hair felt lighter, moving in the invisible breeze. "I've only used it once before, and only part of the way."

"When?" Edward leaned forward, his gaze fixed on me. It was both unnerving and elating.

"I met a vampire two decades ago. He was... well, he was making me unhappy. When he finally pushed me to the breaking point, I felt something inside me break. Suddenly he couldn't hold my arms anymore. I broke his grip so easily. He was so... weak. As weak as a human, I realized.

"So you can take other vampire's strengths?"

"And block their powers."

Edward breathed a sigh of understanding. "Which is why I can't read your mind." He nodded.

"Exactly." I laughed. "Is that what's been bothering you?"

"I've never met anyone like you. It makes me nervous," he admitted, "not knowing what you're thinking."

I grinned widely. "Here."

I shut my eyes, the world dark behind my eyelids. I could hear Edward panting, feel his emotions, but unable to decode them. The connection was back, a thin band between us. His strength flowed through it like an electric current.

When I opened my eyes, he was examining his hands, as if he was surprised they were there. He curled his fingers once, twice, then stood up wordlessly.

I was afraid I had frightened him off. After all, I was rusty in social ethic. Maybe it was rude to steal someone's strength. It was, after all, what we vampires relied on. Without our strength, even a human could kill us.

But he only moved to the dumpster. I watched with growing curiosity as he took the side of it in his hand. He tightened his grip on the edge and then pulled down with just a flick of his arm. The entire side pulled away, a loud screech as the steel tore from its home.

"All right." He grinned, throwing the four-foot plate of metal among the piles of garbage.

I rolled my eyes, but relief coursed through me like a good feeding- I still had a companion.

"So, ready to try 'climbing' again?" I asked excitedly.

"As long as you don't take my powers away. It was a bad move, Miss Swan, you better watch your back." Edward's warning was marred by the grin between his cheeks.

"And you better watch your mouth." I licked my lips nervously, wondering if he read the double message.

We bent our knees, both invigorated by the unnatural experience we had shared, and jumped the length of the building, catching the roof and rolling over the edge simultaneously.

It was like climbing into heaven from hell. Or it could have been from the peaceful darkness of heaven to the furious heat of hell. I wasn't exactly sure, but either way, once the sun hit our skin, we were hot and scintillating.

"What now?" I asked, pressed flat against the roof. There was a one-foot tall boundary around the edge of the building. We lay with our stomachs sucked in, hoping no one would notice the sparkles coming from above.

"Well...I hadn't actually thought past this in my brilliant plan." Edward said, uneasy.

I flipped like a pancake, suddenly on my stomach, and turned my head towards him. My eyes lingered on the shimmering muscles of his arm, the light emitted from his cheeks.

"That's wonderful. I'm glad we came up here for no reason. I mean, the sun feels dandy and I think I might even be getting a tan, though I'm not sure ladies should be tan. 'Fair is fair,' I think that's what they say nowadays. I, on the other hand, have always envied those lovely complexions the natives have. If I were-"

"Bella," Edward began, tired of my sarcasm.

"Sorry," I sighed. "I'm so scared."-The word tasted foul- "What if someone sees us?"

"Then we have a wonderful meal without much trouble."

I grimaced. "While we're up here attempting to think of how to escape- again- would you care to tell me the mysterious story of the golden-eyed vampires. It's something I've been longing to hear."

Edward pretended to think, tapping the side of his angular jaw with a pale finger. "I suppose since you told me- even demonstrated- your power... I could share something as well."

"Thank you," I sighed sweetly. I relaxed into the concrete that covered the building's roof, suddenly enjoying the sun's warmth on my skin.

"I told you before, we of the golden eyes refer to ourselves as vegetarians." He grinned at me, teeth flashing. "We drink from animals instead of humans, and it keeps us more sane. The vicious thirst that drives human drinkers becomes less dominant, and the monster is...trained as well."

"Tortured into obedience?" I asked. Those were the words I had thought when I met them almost a decade before.

"I wouldn't say it's torture, really, but you're right; it's not exactly a walk in the park."

"We've already walked in the park," I mumbled, the sun feverish on my skin.

Edward chuckled, "Perhaps we should find some shade."

"And if we could find some shade on the top of a building, we would have done that, remember?" I shook my head to clear it. "Go on, keep talking."

"There's not much more to say on the subject. There's no long, complicated form you need to fill out." He laughed again.

I thought of this. It sounded fairly simple. So simple to rid yourself of the monster that tortured you so. The nightmares would be gone. The guilt... the bloodbaths... the murder...

"So," I forced my voice into nonchalance. "How do you learn to be avegetarian?"

Edward paused for a very long time, the seconds ticking away in my head. It was not until he began speaking that I realized I had not been breathing.

"It takes... some time...," he said slowly. I refused to look at him. "It requires some training. You need to have patience, because it won't come right away. And it requires a lot of practice and strength. Not physical, but mental," he added.

I inhaled deeply, held the breath for a very long time, then let it out as slowly as possible.

I turned to my side, careful to keep beneath the one-foot border.

Squaring my shoulders, for the first time I willingly looked him in the eye; burgundy to burgundy. "I want to be an animal-drinker."


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

Edward seemed frozen for a moment, his eyes glued to mine blankly. He blinked twice and shook his head.

"You want to... learn?" He asked slowly, still shaking his head.

He almost sat up, but I reached out and placed a soft hand on his chest, pressing him back down.

"You don't want people to see you sparkling," I warned, "It's not very manly."

He frowned and I removed my hand, fingertips tingling ominously.

"You want to be an animal drinker?" He was still staring at me blankly.

I sighed. "You don't have to teach me if you don't want to. But if you could give me an address... somewhere I could go. Like those rehabilitation places they send the heavy drinkers to, so I can recover from my monstrous thirst for human blood."

I felt guilty. Of course he could not refuse me; it would be rude. But at the same time, I felt he did not want the burden of teaching me this difficult deed. I was giving him no choice.

"I don't... I left that behind. I drink human blood now, as much as you do." His brow furrowed. He rolled onto his back and stared up at the dazzling sun unflinchingly.

"Oh." I had forgotten he had given up the old ways. "Like I said, if you know somewhere anyone could teach me how to handle my thirst."

"I don't know anywhere," he said, too quickly.

I glared at him, unsure why he would be hiding something. "What about... Alaska?"

His head snapped my way, his blood-red eyes flashing furiously. "Why would you want to go there?" His voice was rough.

"I won't hurt anyone- I just want to learn how to stop hurting people," I whispered quietly.

Edward sighed and rubbed his temples with his long fingers. "I'm sorry," he muttered, "I... when I met you I thought perhaps I could find a kind companion- uh, friend- with which to travel. Someone sane, but who had the same new lifestyle I did. But now you want change to the life I left."

"You don't have to go back to that life if you don't want. I just want to try it. The guilt of it all- four decades of killing innocent people, because I can't control this monster inside me. Do you know how it feels? To drink someone without a second thought and then for weeks be haunted by their face. Could they have been someone's mother? Or perhaps they were a soon-to-be bride, or a caring father, a loving husband."

I shuddered, my throat burning with emotion, but no tears could escape my eyes.

"I'm sorry," Edward whispered. He reached a hand and twisted his fingers through mine, squeezing once.

The constriction in my chest disappeared, replaced by warmth. But his fingers slid from my grip as he pulled his hand away. I pretended not to be disappointed.

"I should have realized. I've only been drinking human blood for a year, now- nothing compared to your forty. And I go after the robbers, the rapists, the thieves. Still, no matter what, there's guilt."

Edward paused for a moment, or many moments. We both turned and stared at the sky. I listened to the whistling of the wind, the snap of a tree's branches against a window a few blocks over. The birds sang to one another from across building tops. Edward's breathing was steady.

"All right." His words were silent, almost lost in the flurry of the wind.

"What?" I turned to him, sure I must have heard him incorrectly. A few moments before he had been almost delirious trying to force me not to become a 'vegetarian'.

"All right. We'll go to Alaska." Edward smiled at me, his eyes soft.

I blinked rapidly. "We- we will? You'll...- really?"

He chuckled, reaching out to tug on a strand of my mahogany hair, teasingly. "Yes, we will." He was suddenly serious. "I have to warn you, though. It takes a lot of work, mental and physical, and you need to be patient."

"Yes! Of course!" In my exuberance, I almost forgot to stay hidden. I ducked my head. "Thank you!"

I pressed my palm flat against his and ran my fingertips across it softly, shyly. It was a strange gesture, and even I did not know what it meant, but it seemed to show my gratitude.

The thought of ridding myself of this monster and maybe washing away almost a half-century of guilt was beyond elating.

The sun seemed more magnificent than usual.

Two elongated shadows slunk through another block. They followed their equal figures, pressed against walls and hidden behind trees. Trillions of stars twinkled overhead, circling the full moon in an untraceable pattern, a dance known to few.

"How long do you think it will take to make it to Alaska?" I asked, my mouth moving in a blur.

"If we take a train it might be faster in the morning, but if we can find some sort of forest to travel through during daytime, we'll take almost half the time of a train."

I opened my mouth to reply, but Edward held up a finger, his skin sparkling dimly in the moonlight. We were perfectly silent, deathly still, for a moment. Then Edward peeked around the corner and nodded.

"Why are we hiding anyway?" I asked, my voice just a slice in the air. We made our way around the corner and fell behind the shadow of a few towering buildings. Back in New York City, the structures were rising with every block.

Edward frowned for a moment, as if he himself did not know. Then he glanced around nervously and turned back to me with a sympathetic smile. "Poor Bella, you should know, of course."

I shook my head.

"Others might see us," his words were filled with an air of mystery.

"What do you mean?" It was my turn to frown. "We only emit light or reflect it or... well, I'm not quite sure what it is- but it only happens in the daytime, and only the really sunny daytime as well."

Edward obviously did not have an answer to that, and so he shook his head and stepped right out into the street. He paused for a moment, stiff as a board. When nothing came jumping out- no bang, crash, boom, clang, hop, scream, roar, or anything but the crickets' chirping, he gave me the nod.

I grinned at him, a certain cockiness in the smile, and swayed ahead of him. "Maybe I should take the lead. I do have almost forty years more experience than you do..."

His arm was suddenly around my waist, his touch sending shivers cascading down my spine. My knees shook as his hands pressed the sides of my hips, pulling me back against him...


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

"I'll go first," he whispered in my ear, his velvety voice sending my heart jumping.

His arms pulled me back, and just as quickly as the warmth of his body had come, it was gone. I pretended not to look disappointed, but it was hard to hide. In the brief moments his arms had surrounded me, I had felt strangely whole, as if there had always been something missing that was suddenly filled.

I ignored the sudden chill in the air and followed behind him quietly, attempting to keep my eyes off his backside, which was inappropriate and unladylike... I couldn't help my eyes from wandering.

We traveled for two weeks and, after the heart pounding physical encounter on our last night in New York City, Edward seemed unusually silent. He hardly spoke, only a few sentences on the weather and traveling plans, but his words were cold and unemotional.

I had only just met him, the smallest fragment of time in my endless existence, but I felt as though I had known him forever. His silence cut me deeply. I forced myself to ignore it though, and drove on with as icy a shoulder as he had.

It was not until we were just on the border of Alaska, in the Yukon territory of Canada, that I could no longer stay the burning thirst deep in my throat. I was sure Edward had been cheating and drinking from humans on our journey, for they were unavoidable and their blood was luscious, but I had not fed since we left New York.

"Edward," I whispered one morning as we sat just inside the border of a forest, hiding from the light of dawn.

His eyes were cold as he turned to me. "Yes?" his voice was hard.

I gritted my teeth and forced myself not to flinch, adopting the same tone as him. "I know you've been hunting humans for these weeks of travel-"I ignored his twitch- "But I can hardly show the same respect for them as you do. I've not drank for nearly three weeks now." I rubbed my throat, wincing at the chapped feeling in it, the cold air burning with every unnecessary breath.

"Oh," he gasped and his cerise eyes seemed to soften. "You should feed...or you could wait. Only three days and we could be there," he added.

I thought about it. Perhaps I could wait for a few days... but with another burning breath, my will crumbled. I shook my head sadly. "No, I need to hunt. I'm dying of thirst." Edward looked worried and I had to suppress a laugh.

"Not literally dying. I doubt that's possibly. I'm sure that vampiric monster inside us would force us to jump the bones of the first human we saw if the thirst was that serious," I attempted to comfort him.

He only snickered, hiding his grinning mouth beneath his bare arms- another reason we could not be seen by others. Surely in the snowy cold of Canada, we were expected to wear jackets or at least some sort of protection from the chill. I frowned down at the white shorts I still wore, now light brown from the dirt.

"You could hunt a human..." Edward suggested meekly.

My eyes widened before I could hide the expression and my heart dipped when Edward's eyes became shadowed again, his attempt at hiding guilt and sorrow.

"That's a... reasonable suggestion." I smiled to show him I was not offended. "But I was hoping-" I glanced at him shyly from beneath my lashes, twisting a lock of hair tightly around one finger- "I was hoping that maybe I could... learn how to hunt animals now."

"Now?" Edward cleared his throat, obviously nervous.

"You don't have to teach me how to hunt. I suppose- It's a silly idea, but I just thought that maybe I should have some sort of experience first so that I don't look like an imbecile in front of the others." If I were human, my cheeks would be coated in red at the moment.

"No..." Edward shook his head and I felt my heart drop. He smiled at me. "No, it's not a silly idea. I think- I think I could teach you. If you'll accept that I'll make mistakes."

"You've already made too many to count," I joked, nudging him in the ribs with my elbow. Feeling the muscles through his thin shirt sent a tingle up my arm. "But thank you," I said, so quietly I hoped he had not heard. He seemed not to, but a strange smile had pulled up one cheek.

"All it takes is a little concentration," Edward's velvet voice whispered in the wintry silence.

Our footsteps made no sounds, but the animals' did. I heard a small crack and knew a deer had leapt past from behind. I turned around slowly, sharp eyes hunting for the creature, but Edward shook his head at me, placing a long finger over his full lips.

"Not yet," he said quietly and shook his head again.

I suppressed the urge to roll my eyes and settled for an annoyed huff. Edward was acting as if we were performing some sort of delicate surgery. I told him so.

"And we are," he grinned, pulling back from his crouched hunting pose and leaning against a tree, perfectly at leisure.

I raised my eyebrows; talking hurt my burning throat.

"We're not quite deep enough in the forest yet, and these woods are too thin, so even if you're right in the middle, you'll still smell the humans. So if your bloodlust takes over while you're feeding off an animal and you smell human blood, what do you think will happen?" He drew a line across his throat with his pointer finger.

I shook my head. How was it that I had killed for four decades and it was only now that I could hardly look at a human without feeling remorse? Was it normal not to feel the full guilty conscience until almost half a century later?

"All right," I sighed, feeling my raw throat scrape. "Let's do this your way." Edward crouched right in front of me, peering over a row of thick hedges.

"What do you see?" I asked, unable to see over his shoulder.

He turned around sharply and cast me a reproachful look. "Shhhhh..." he said loudly, placing a finger to his frozen lips.

The deer we had been watching suddenly lifted its head and with a frightened look in its eye, dashed away through the trees.

Edward groaned and fell forward onto his knees, cupping his face in his hands. "You did it again! I told you not to talk!"

"You're the one that scared it!" I shot back, but this was the fifth deer we had scared away and it seemed I had a fair part in ruining our hunts. My throat burned so much it made my head spin and the fresh aromas of human blood grew stronger. "Let's just get this over with quickly," I coughed out.

Edward looked like he was going to retaliate with some witty comment, but seeing the look on my face, he nodded and turned back, immediately serious.

"I apologize," he started as we glided between trees, our noses in the air. "It's been only a few years of not hunting, and I'm afraid I've lost my touch."

"I thought you said it comes naturally?" I turned, thinking I had smelled something edible, but a tiny rabbit scurried across my path and disappeared beneath the burrowed roots of a large tree.

"It does- I mean, it should. It's fairly natural, but I suppose it does take some getting used to." He frowned, disappointed in himself, and my heart tightened uncomfortably.

We walked on for a few more minutes, smelling nothing but the human scents which were now falling further behind with every step.

Watching around me, I did not see Edward stop. I ran right into his back, and was met with a momentary shock that ran through my skin, especially where my fingertips brushed his arm, held out.

"Oh," I huffed, stumbling back from him. Even as a vampire I was strangely clumsy. "Sorry," I mumbled.

He turned back to me and grinned, wrapping a hand around my wrist and squeezing it kindly. It was a strange gesture to me, but imaginary warmth trickled through his skin and into mine.

"There's one there," he pointed ahead, leaning close and directing me to it. It was unnecessary, as my ravenous thirst had already directed me to the deer- a large male.

I thought not of its family or its home, or anything important of that sort. Without knowing what I was doing, I crouched low and pounced on the deer. Its neck snapped easily beneath my fingers. My mouth pressed to its skin, feeling the fur beneath my lips, still warm. With a single nick, its blood trickled into my mouth, first a few drops and then as my teeth sunk in, a fountain fell past my lips.

I drank as a man dying of thirst would, and when there was no more blood left and its heart had stopped its quiet drumming, I dropped the carcass to the ground. The thirst had left a bit of the monster in me.

I felt Edward could see it in my eyes, standing just where I had left him across the clearing. I stared into his ruby eyes for a long time and licked my lips, tasting the sweet but missing, flavor on my mouth.

He crossed the clearing in three long strides and stepped over the deer's body to stand before me. I registered vaguely that he was closer to me than usual. He took my shoulders in his strong hands and my body turned to jelly beneath his demanding touch. Without him holding me, I would have melted to the ground.

He grinned down at me, leaning close. My eyes fell to his lips, full and angular, pink and well fed- and delicious. Just as I thought his lips were about to close on my own- my eyelids were fluttering and my heart accelerated- his face brushed past mine. He pressed his cheek against my own and his icy breath caressed my ear.

"That was perfect." It sounded as though he purred the last word.

I shook under his touch, chastising myself in believing he was about to bestow upon me those sacred lips, that angel kiss. Despite the forced anger at myself, my heart pumped rapidly, bouncing into my throat.

"Th-thank you. It wasn't as tasty as I had expected, though." I tugged myself back from him and pushed a lock of stray mahogany hair behind one ear, my hand trembling. "Um...Should we leave?"

Edward watched me, an unfathomable expression in his scarlet eyes. I turned away from his unnerving gaze- it felt as though he could see right through me- and dug my toe into the frosty ground, listening closely to the crunch of the grass beneath my foot.

"Shall we...?" I cocked my head toward the thicker woods behind us again, hoping dearly we could forget the disconcerting incident only moments before.

"Wait." Edward held up a hand and turned around. He bent over smoothly and slipped his arms beneath the crippled corpse of the deer. It's neck had a large split it, making my stomach churn uncomfortably; I had done that with my own teeth.

Edward swerved through a few trees and stopped beneath a thick oak.

"We need to dispose of the body," he explained.

"Oh..." I nodded, watching his muscles flex as he wrapped his arms around the tree's thick trunk and lifted it clear out of the ground, its roots flailing in the air.

"Push the body under the tree," he grunted, staggering a bit. The trees branches scraped others, creating a ruckus overhead and a shower of leaves.

I nudged the deer with my toe and just the slightest bit of strength sent it into the ditch made by the tree. Edward let the tree fall back in its hole with a resounding drum-like thud. He huffed as he dug it back into the earth.

"We need to cover its roots again, so it will keep growing." Edward turned without stopping and picked up a large handful of thick, reddish-brown muck, padding it around the tree.

I stood frozen for a moment, unbelieving. Edward was so aware of the earth and its every need. My heart fell and soared at the same moment. How could I possibly deserve as loving a creature as him?

One confused glance from those cerise eyes and I was on my knees, shoving piles of mud to Edward who padded them around the tree with a strange, motherly care. When the tree was carefully balanced, Edward stood up, rubbing the clay-filled dirt from his hands. They had left reddish streaks across his pants. A quick examination of my own clothing confirmed a large patch of brown on the side of one leg of my shorts.

"Ugh," I groaned, attempting to wipe it. The dirt from my hands only rubbed it in further, and I gave up with an angry huff.

Edward chuckled, reaching out and helping. His fingers touched the bare skin of my thigh and my stomach twisted pleasantly. A few crumbs of mud fell to the ground.

"Oh, well...," I sighed, throwing my hands up.

He grinned again, and all thoughts of mucked clothing left my mind at the sparkling grin. I felt as though his eyes did not frighten me quite as much even. Though, I could not forget the last few weeks; the sudden mood change was unnerving. I pushed it from my mind and returned his grin with a wide one of my own.

"Shall we leave, now?"

"Ladies first." Edward bowed gallantly.

"Why thank you." I swayed ahead of him, pushing my hips from side to side more than I normally would.

"There it is," Edward whispered.

We stood together beneath the shadow of a number of evergreen trees, peering through the thick pine branches at the white house settled in the center of a circular opening. Trees surrounded it from all sides like a bordering gate, protecting it from curious outside eyes.

"Wow," I whispered, but not only for the beauty of the home, how it blended in with the snow so I was unsure where the house ended and then icy flakes began. My surprise was reserved for the families that resided in said home. "Two covens?" I asked again, the idea so alien I could hardly believe it.

Edward smiled. "Two covens." He nodded.

I was suddenly nervous. I ran a hand through my hair- once, twice... The third time, Edward took my fingers in his own and squeezed them tightly- it felt too friendly, not nearly as romantic as I had hoped.

"No need to be nervous. They will be absolutely delighted to meet you. And I'm sure they'll love you for bringing me back." He ducked his head and I was sure he felt guilty for having left them in the first place.

"It's all right." I squeezed his fingers before letting them slip from my grip, afraid to frighten him off.

I glanced down at my clothing, the same white shorts still covered in dirt. "Maybe I should change?"

Edward shrugged. "If you want."

Less than a minute later, I pressed myself beside Edward, my toes on the edge of the forest, but my body hidden under the pine branches' shadow.

I ran nervous fingers over the creases in my flowing, white skirt. It reached my knees, where I gripped the fabric, almost ripping it in my anxious hands.

"Don't worry," Edward reassured. He twisted his fingers through my own and gave me a beautiful smile. "I'm here."


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

The breeze pinched my fingers. It was colder in Alaska, the temperature for once lower than my body's.

I stepped through the snow carefully, though nothing could be done about the mush sneaking into my shoes. It melted, and I felt a sudden tug of deja vu. This was the exact place I had first met Edward, and because of the uncomfortable dampness in my shoes.

I glanced at him from the corner of my eye, wondering if he was remembering as well. My cheeks burned with mortification when I realized he was watching me watching him.

He only chuckled though and nodded his head at the house, much larger now that we were closer. "It looks like they were expecting us."

I looked up to see the curtains swinging back into place. I slowed my pace, feeling the anxiousness clawing at my stomach, a million butterflies battering against my ribcage.

"Uh, I- I don't know anything about your family. Do they... should I know them? Can you tell me something?"

A pale-skinned female swung the door open, watching us quietly from several yards away. Her light caramel hair fell over her shoulders in soft waves, and my heart jumped excitedly when I saw her sparkling topaz eyes crinkled in a quiet sort of happiness.

"That's Esme," Edward murmured his eyes focused on who I knew to be his 'mother'. "And Carlisle you met before."

"Who else?" My voice was high, and I twisted my fingers through the hem of my skirt with more vigor.

"Calm down, Bella." Edward's voice slowed my heart just enough to keep me from having a vampire-heart attack. "You can meet the Denali coven later and let them introduce themselves, but there is Eleazar, Carmen, Irina, Kate, and Tanya." His voice gave a little twist on the last name, but he refused to meet my curious gaze.

"All right," I sighed. We were a few feet from the doors. The entire family stood just inside, waiting and watching curiously. "I think I can handle this."

Edward chuckled, and then something hit me. An iron grip had wrapped itself around my body, squeezing my lungs painfully. I felt Edward beside me and held on to his scent, which seemed to have a stronger flavor now that we were around other vampire scents.

The strong grip released me and I sucked in an unneeded breath, rubbing just beneath my ribs. I realized it was the quiet Esme who had balled us over.

"Oh, Edward!" she cried, clutching at him.

Edward buried his head in his mother's hair, his eyes closed peacefully. I turned away, feeling as if I were intruding on a private moment. Esme pulled back and her smile was wider than all of Alaska.

She turned her beautiful topaz eyes to me and I was sure if she could cry, they would be filled with tears. "And who might you be?"

For a moment I wondered why she was not put off by my villainous burgundy eyes, but I realized I had just had animal blood. Were my eyes now as lovely and kind as hers?

I took a shallow breath. "My name is Isabella- um, Bella." I was not sure how to word what it was I wanted, so I shut my mouth and gave Edward a questioning look.

Esme's eyes darted between us, standing awkwardly beside each other and attempting to communicate inconspicuously. A grin began in her eyes, a different one than before, somewhat sly...

Carlisle was suddenly beside us, his demeanor perfectly calm. He walked to Edward and they gave each other one of those strange, manly hugs. "I'm glad you're home, son."

"Thanks, dad."

The humanly gestures, the words, the names they used for each other- endearments, I think they were called... it all confused me. Mom, dad, son; I had not heard those words for so long, and never from a vampire's mouth. I shook my head, wondering if I would suddenly wake up and realize that it was all a dream- though I had not dreamt for over four decades.

"Bella, I remember you." Carlisle held out his hand and I shook it, feeling a familiar tug.

"Why don't we all go inside. It might look suspicious if someone was to see us all standing out here without jackets on." Esme gave a fake little shiver and slipped one arm through Edward's. "You too Bella, dear." And to my shock, she took my hand, pulling me along into the large white house covered in snow.

We entered into an empty foyer and followed a quiet Carlisle through a long hallway into what I supposed was the back of the house. A kitchen stood to the right and a thickly carpeted room fell on the left, complete with many sofas, armchairs, and a large television.

I did not know what I had expected, being a vampire myself, but this was certainly a shock as to a vampire's abode. It seemed as if, other than the blood-drinking, they were just normal humans.

"Have a seat, you two," Esme said softly.

She and Carlisle sat together on the only loveseat in the room, caramel, a few shades darker than their eyes, I noticed vaguely.

I perched on the edge of a velvet-cushioned chair. It felt nice to be in a real home after such a long time. The closest I had been to a real home in the many decades since my change was a hotel every now and then on my endless wandering. Edward took a seat on the chair beside me. I caught his eye and he grinned. The smile made my flurrying heart steady a bit, but when I looked back at the expectant vampire parents, it sped up again.

I turned my eyes down to my hands, waiting for the conversation to begin and for me to perhaps be asked to tell my strange story- something I was not looking forward to. But for many long minutes there was perfect silence. I glanced up curiously to see the three of them staring into each others eyes.

I was taken aback; I knew Edward was a mind reader, but maybe he could communicate the other way as well.

Esme nodded once. Carlisle smiled and shrugged.

"Can you try at least?" Edward said so quietly I almost did not catch the words. I knew right away what they were talking about- me.

"Erm, I'm sorry. Are you... um-" I began, but my throat cut me off when all their heads snapped up to look at me.

Esme ducked her head, looking embarrassed. "I'm sorry, Bella, that was quite rude of us."

"Oh, no." I shook my head enthusiastically. "That's fine. I was just not sure if you were talking... well- thinking, I suppose..."

Carlisle and Edward exchanged a glance and Edward nodded subtly, but not subtly enough. Esme turned and gave Carlisle a little slap on the shoulder.

"Carlisle!" she chastised. "Didn't you just hear what I said. It's rude to hold private conversations about someone when they're right here. Now, why don't you and Edward tell Bella what you were just saying."

Carlisle looked at me apologetically, but how could I not forgive those beautiful golden eyes, the ones that had given me my first taste of hope in half a lifetime.

"Carlisle was just wondering if Bella knew about my power. And I said yes," Edward jumped in.

"Thank you, Edward." Esme smiled at him approvingly and turned to give Carlisle a mock-glare. Mock, because a smile played around her mouth.

"Yes ,thank you, Edward, darling," I teased quietly. He gave me an embarrassed smile, one that made my heart leap. I chastised myself for feeling that way and turned my attention back to Esme and Carlisle.

"Did Edward already tell you the, uh, situation?" I asked nervously.

Esme grinned warmly and even Carlisle cracked a smile.

"Of course, and you are welcome to stay with us as long as you like"- I opened my mouth to ask about the other situation, but she cut me off with an understanding, motherly smile- "and yes. Carlisle has volunteered to try to teach you our 'vegetarian' ways." She laughed a beautiful wind-chime laugh.

My anxious heart pounded happily and my tightened belly relaxed. "Thank you," were the only words I could find, but they held all the emotion and all the meaning I could not express.

Esme stood up and, to my surprise, wrapped her arms around me in a motherly hug. She was a few inches taller than me and I was reminded of my own mother. I nuzzled my head against her shoulder and breathed in the calming scent, so sweet and nurturing.

"Thank you," she said, and although I did not know what I had done to deserve thanks, I knew she meant it with all her heart.

Carlisle gave me a hearty handshake next, which was enough from him, for he had volunteered already to teach me what I wanted most, and I did not even have to tell them my depressing story.

"I thought... I was just wondering, but I thought Edward said there were more living here? Another coven, I think?" I looked at Edward questioningly.

"They went out," the three vampires said at the same time. They looked at each other and laughed happily. A sweet family reunion, and yet I did not feel left out, but as if I were part of it.

"They decided to give us some time alone, so they all slipped out the back door," Edward explained, looking down at me with a content smile across his ruby lips.

"Oh," I worried. "I hope they didn't leave just for me."

"No, dear. Eleazar and Carmen went hunting, they actually haven't been for a while. And Tanya, Irina, and Kate were excited to go to the market. They like it a lot there," Esme added.

"Hmm..." I nodded, though I was curious as to why these she-vampires liked going to the market. Surely it would be a real test of their strength to be around humans. And who knew what sorts of accidents happened in markets?

"Edward, would you show Bella to her room?" Carlisle interrupted my thoughts.

"A room? You don't need to do that, really. I can sleep anywhere."

"We have so much space in this house. It will be wonderful to have it fill up again, dear. Edward?"

"Right this way, Bella." Edward took my arm and steered me down the hall before I could protest any more. "Truly Bella. Carlisle and Esme are extremely happy to have you here, and after everyone else meets you, they'll be just as happy." He pulled me up a tall mahogany staircase.

"How do you know?" I shot back, skeptic.

Edward tapped the side of his head. "Mind reader."

"Oh..." I could think of nothing to say, and I did not know why I wanted to refuse to believe the fact that they were happy to have me here. So I forced myself to accept it, and it made me feel truly excited for this new adventure of mine: conquering the human world... in the kindest way possible.

"This is your room." Edward pushed open a dark, intricately carved door on the right side of the upstairs hall.

I stepped inside and my eyes nearly fell out of their sockets.

The room was beautiful. Ornately lavished with a large- and unnecessary- bed settled in its center. Thick white carpets covered the cherry wooden floor. A floor to ceiling, wall to wall, window took up the whole left side of the room. From the door, I could see a beautiful forest view, and the market further ahead, everything resting beneath a blanket of white.

"Wow," I gasped.

"You're drooling." Edward chuckled. And I immediately shut my mouth, wiping my wrist across my mouth as inconspicuously as possible.

"Hmph," I huffed when I realized he had just been playing with me.

He laughed again and pulled me into the room. The door creaked shut behind us and my frozen heart thumped unevenly.

But Edward simply led me further into the room, which, at first glance, seemed to be a square but actually had a tiny hall to one side of it. It was a narrow hall and had two doors, one on the right wall, and the other at the end.

"This is the closet." Edward opened the door on the right. The closet was quite deep, and I was sure I would never have enough clothes to fill it. "And this is the bathroom." He pointed to the other door.

"Lovely," I smiled up at him as brightly as I could.

Edward ran a slightly shaky hand through his glossy, bronze locks, still clean despite all the travel we had endured.

"Anytime," he said quietly. "Should we head back downstairs?"

He turned to go.

"All right," I sighed. "But there is something I have to ask you..."

Edward turned back to me, his expression wary. "And what might that be?"

"I'm not mad at you"- he looked slightly relieved- "but I can't say the same thing about you."

"What do you mean?" Now Edward looked confused.

I danced over to the large bed in the center of the room and fell on to it. The mattress was quite comfortable and I allowed myself to stretch across it before sitting up and patting the spot beside me, indicating to Edward that he should sit.

He took the seat, but made sure to keep a space between us, which dismayed me- though I did not let him see that.

"What do you mean?" Edward asked again. "I'm not mad at you."

"No, not right now. But you seemed quite angry before."

"When?" he demanded, and his child-like defiance made me smile.

"When we were traveling to here from New York. After we left the City, you seemed quiet and brooding, and angry- at me?"

"I wasn't angry." But he could not deny the guilty look now resting on his precious face.

"Oh, really?" I challenged him with my eyes, which I had not had a chance to look at yet, but was sure were golden as the sun on a bright summer day.

"Yes, really."

We stared at each other for a long moment and as it grew longer, I felt my curiosity, my anger, just dissolving. Vaguely, I noticed that his once-frightening red eyes did not hold the same heart-clenching terror anymore, but only a warm feeling in my stomach.

I felt myself falling deeper, unable to look away from him, and then perhaps I was falling forward as well... and he came to meet me... and the door opened.

"Edward!" the high voice squealed. "Oh... I'm sorry!"

And then the door closed again and we were sitting with our shoulders touching, our faces half-tilted towards each other, but the mood had soured.

"I'm sorry," I mumbled and shot up. I was at the door within seconds.

The vampire who had interrupted us had obviously bolted, and I did the same. I ran right out the front door, ignoring Esme's shocked face. I did not know why I was reacting so drastically, but something inside had snapped.

I ran far from the house, not noticing I had entered the forest until I was almost on the other side of it. I heard cars passing on a busy highway, their horns honking every now and then, and the humans' scents puffing from the exhaust fans.

I crawled beneath a tree's shade and settled with my back against it, feeling the bark scratch me through the thin, black shirt I wore. My skirt was torn in a few places, the twigs having ripped it at my quick speed.

"What's wrong with you?" I asked myself, shaking my head. I let my thick hair fall over my face, and buried myself in my own bubble for a long time.

I think it was two hours at the most before I decided to get up. I had not made any life-changing realizations, but I felt calmer- still a boiling worry beneath- but at least calm enough to analyze myself.

I realized that the reason I had bolted was because I was angry at myself. Angry that Edward had taken away the weeks of frustration and anger- at him- with a single glance. I had allowed my will to crumble, I had let myself show weakness to someone I hardly knew.

I promised myself, as I made my way out of the darkening forest, that until I knew Edward was steady in his promises I would not let him have me.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

I made it to the front door before feeling the battering butterflies at my rib cage. The family would think I was cracked in the head, for sure.

The door swung open before I could turn and run again, and Esme greeted me with a soft smile. "Are you alright, Bella?"

I nodded slowly. "I'm sorry for leaving so quickly."

We walked down the hall and back into the living room. I stopped at the entrance, seeing the new faces.

"H-hello," I stuttered, allowing Esme to pull me onto the caramel couch beside her.

I gazed around at them; three unidentifiable females sat beside each other on the chairs Edward and I had occupied only hours ... he seemed to be missing.

I sniffed as quietly as I could, but no fresh scents of him were detectable.

"You must be Isabella!" exclaimed a petite auburn-haired vampire.

"Bella," I corrected, then paused, wondering if it was rude.

"Bella; that's a beautiful name," chimed another female, her light brown hair tied up in a glossy ponytail.

"Thank you. And you are..?"

Esme piped up. "This is Irina"- she pointed to the first girl who had spoken- "Katrina, or Kate"- the girl with the ponytail- "and Tanya." The last one sat tall, staring down at me with an unfathomable expression. Lustrous strawberry blonde hair cascaded down her back and across her shoulders, fluttering in an invisible breeze.

I felt intimidated, for sure.

"Hello," I said again, at a complete loss for words. "I- um... Thank you for letting me stay in your home."

"Oh, you're welcome. It's no problem!" Kate seemed quite happy to have me here. I felt myself relax.

"We'd love to say 'Edward told us so much about you', but we haven't spoken to him until just today. We were sad to hear he went off to feast the other way." Irina smiled sadly.

"But we're all extremely happy to have him back, and to meet you as well," Esme finished.

I smiled thankfully. Their kindness was refreshing.

"I've already told the girls why you are staying here," Esme added, and I felt as though I could hug her a million times over.

I settled with an extremely thankful smile, hoping she could see how grateful I truly was. She was a miracle mother for sure.

"I'm sorry I interrupted you earlier," Tanya spoke for the first time, eying me in the same way she had been earlier. Her voice was lovely, just as the others; for some reason I had been expecting something more frightening.

"Oh, that's all right... really." I tried not to look embarrassed, though if I were human I would be flushing red from the neck up.

"I hope you don't mind me asking, but why did you run away? I hope it wasn't because of me..."

I stared resolutely at my hands, playing with fingers and attempting to ease the nerves. Everyone seemed to shift a bit closer, curious to hear what I had to say.

"I smelled human blood and it frightened me, because I've been trying to control myself. That bloodthirsty monster sort of came out all of a sudden, and I could hardly contain myself. So I ran. I'm sorry, that was rude of me, I should have said something first," I lied.

They sat back, content with my lie.

"That must have been us, or Tanya. We've been in the market, so we probably have the human smells all over us. Sorry, Bella, we'll try to be more careful next time," said Kate, smiling apologetically.

"No, no, do whatever you please, really. I need to learn some endurance, anyway."

"You have a long way to go, then," Tanya pointed out, still stiff-backed in her seat. Her eyes were cold and her words sickly sweet.

"Thank you," I said through my teeth, then turned to Esme in an attempt to make conversation. "You have a very nice son." The words seemed to burst from my lips. Before I could gather them back up, they fell to the floor and shattered. My stomach clenched; I was so embarrassed.

Esme beamed. "Thank you, darling. Edward is such a gentleman, indeed. But I only knew him for a short time before he left."

"I don't know much about him either," I admitted, ducking my head.

"Really?" Irina looked surprised.

"Um, yes?"

"I'm sorry, I'm just shocked. I thought you and Edward traveled here together from New York City?"

"Yes." I could think of no explanation for why after more than two weeks of travel Edward and I were still strangers, because it was unfathomable even to myself.

"He's a very quiet person. It seems very difficult for him to connect with others," Esme explained to Irina and the others, and perhaps to me as well.

"But surely he's read your mind?" Tanya's unrelenting golden stare was locked on me.

I took a deep breath and turned away. "He can't read my mind."

"What!"

"Sorry?"

"Really!"

The exclamations of the undead brought a tiny smile to my face. Only Tanya sat quiet and stiff-backed, as they all waited for an explanation.

"It's part of my power. You see-"

At that very moment, two snowy white vampires sped into the room. My mouth fell open at the size of the dark haired male. I had to crane my neck to see his face from my seat. His companion was considerably smaller, though somewhat plumper than most of the vampires I had seen. They were both stunning in beauty just like the others, their faces angular and pale, their lips rubies waiting to be kissed.

"Hello," the woman greeted, lifting her hand and curling her fingers at me. Her golden eyes crinkled warmly, and her lips quirked up in a smile.

"You must be Isabella," the male said, his voice deep and alluring.

I nodded slowly. "Bella."

"Welcome to our home, Bella. My name is Carmen." The woman nodded at me. Her dark hair fell over her face and she tucked it behind her ears, giving me a wide smile.

"I am Eleazar." The man reached his arm over Esme and took my hand in his.

My hand was limp in his for a moment, for I had forgotten what I was supposed to do. Eleazar gave a little cough hiding a laugh and I ducked my head in embarrassment and shook his hand with too much vigor.

"Thank you for allowing me to stay." I felt as though I had said those words more times than I had in my entire life.

"It's no problem." And heard those words more than I should.

I stood up just as Eleazar and Carmen were about to sit down. "Is it all right if I go upstairs and unpack?" I had barely anything to unpack, but it was an excuse to leave the room. I did not think I could handle answering more questions, especially if they led to ones of my morbid past; and the inhuman beauty in the room was suffocating.

"Of course, dear," Esme and Carmen answered at once. They smiled at each other and, as I left, Carmen moved to fill my vacated seat on the loveseat.

The house was quite easy to navigate, at least the way to my room, and within seconds I found myself sprawled across my bed, my face pressed into the cool, unused sheets. They smelled of laundry and... Edward.

I sat up and sighed. The thought of his name made my heart pound, but it was ominous now, instead of dizzying and warm. There was no happiness, only misery.

Why? I wondered. Why shouldn't I be able to feel attraction towards Edward?

"Because he's no good," I answered myself with a sigh. But I knew I was lying. Edward was perfect. I was no good for him- that was the truth.

"He doesn't want you," I said to myself. I repeated the words again and again, until my head sang them back.

But I still wondered where he was. The house was too quiet. I pressed my ear to the floor and heard the others' voices carried upwards.

"...turned in Italy?"

"She could have been captured by the Volturi."

"But she wasn't."

"What if they're looking for her?"

"She's been one longer than I have." That was Esme's voice.

"How long?"

"Four decades, I believe."

I stopped listening and pushed myself off the ground. My ripped white skirt was now covered with a thin layer of lint. Examining the floor, I realized just how unused this room was. I was perhaps the first person to step into it for a long time.

"I need to change," I mumbled to myself. The least I could do for these people was look decent, I thought.

I picked the black tote off the bed, where I had tossed it many hours ago. Rifling through the bag, I found a white shirt and a pair of khaki shorts, longer than my last, but still indecent- at least among the humans.

Hoping the inhabitants of the home would not mind a show of bare legs, I slipped into the shorts and tugged the shirt over my head. I turned to the bathroom at the end of the hall and skipped into it.

After scrubbing my face clean and brushing my hair with a wet comb, I felt cleaner than I had in ages. Throughout my entire self-cleaning, I had refused to look into the mirror, afraid that the topaz eyes I so badly wanted were not there.

But I finally did, and a gasp broke the silence when I met my eyes in the mirror.

Golden as the afternoon sun, warmer than a kindling fire, and more beautiful than six vampires; the topaz eyes reflected the dim bathroom light. They illuminated my entire face, golden surrounding the circle of black pupils.

"You look lovely, now will you stop admiring yourself and please come speak to me?" It was Tanya.

She stood outside the bathroom and watched me turn to her warily.

"What would you like to speak to me about?" I asked. Suppressing a sigh, I followed her back into my room. She took a seat on a chair I had not noticed before, in front of the window.

I sat on the other side of my large bed and faced her, waiting.

She was quiet for a long time, looking out the window with a thoughtful expression on her beautiful face. It was dark outside, and dark in my room.

I leaned over and turned my bedside lamp on. The light woke her from her thoughts.

"I apologize." Tanya turned to me, and her eyes flickered ominously. "Bella... is there something happening between you and Edward?"

I was taken aback by the question and unprepared to answer it. Feeling flustered I mumbled something like, "...don't know... what... it's so... he's kind of... crazy."

"You think he's crazy?"

"No, I- uh... I don't know. I mean, Edward and I don't know each other."

"That's true." She nodded thoughtfully. "I've known him much longer than you have."

"I suppose..." There was only one reason she would ask me these questions. "Is there something happening between you and Edward?"

Her eyes flicked up to me and I was captured in her web, paralyzed by her poisonous stare, and unable to escape.

A smirk crawled across her lips. "Maybe."

And suddenly she was gone, only her bittersweet scent leaving a trail that led out the door.

I fell back on my bed, my legs still crossed. I felt more miserable than before and my heart thumped out a frightened beat.

Competition? I thought. I had never been the competitive type. I was quiet and shy. If there was a fight over something, I preferred to give up and let the other person win.

"But I don't want him anyways," I lied to myself. It was impossible to lie to yourself, I had always heard, but maybe if you did it long enough, you would begin to believe it and then it would not be lying... would it?

I lay on the bed until around midnight and no one bothered me. I was sure they were all gathered downstairs with Edward and talking about me, which did not bother me in the least. As long as I did not have to answer anymore questions for the rest of my life, I would be fine.

Midnight brought a bout of strength to me. Having tired myself of thinking I slipped off the bed, feeling the dusty floor beneath my toes, and strode to the door.

I peeked my head into the hall first, but it was empty. The door opposite mine was the only dark one, but the rest all had thin bars of light pouring from the bottom, which meant everyone was in their rooms.

Quietly, I tiptoed through the hall and down the stairs. Within seconds I landed on the first floor, right in front of the door, and stared at it, wondering if I could go outside without anyone noticing.

Deciding against it- the door was too noisy when opened- I walked down the hall at a considerably slow pace.

I felt like a human, strolling through the well-furnished home with its unneeded heating and its kitchens, bathrooms, and unnecessary leisurely items.

I stopped when I saw the empty caramel couch and, in a rush of idiocy, felt the urge to jump on it. On a bit of a run, I leapt at the last moment, and landed on the loveseat. Curled into a ball, the warm sofa swallowed me up in its cushions and I lay there, listening to the...

"Bella?"

"Oh!" I sat up as quickly as I could and straightened myself, placing my feet flat on the floor.

Edward had half-risen from his seat on a large, white sofa against the right side of the wall. A black square was clutched in his right hand and at first I thought it was a weapon.

He followed my gaze to it and held it out to me. "It's a remote."

I cocked my head. "For what?"

"The television." He laughed and pointed to the black box sitting against the far wall of the room.

"Oh..." I felt silly. A weapon, I scoffed.

"So what was that?"

I clamped my jaws together, having hoped he had forgotten my childish actions only a few moments before.

"Nothing?" I shrugged, hoping to brush it off.

His angel lips stretched into a crooked grin. "All right"- He shrugged too- "if you say so..."


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

There was silence for a few minutes. I picked at the dirt beneath my fingernails until they looked perfectly clean and white. I could not help myself glancing up at him from beneath my lashes every few seconds.

He had turned his head back to the television where a grainy picture showed a stout man in a suit, his mouth moving occasionally to form complicated sentences.

"...economy... having dropped radically... with the Canadians fresh on the trail... and others cooperating... while many decimate totalitarian achievements..."

They must have been rich to have a television so early.

I turned back to my fingernails, scratching at the sides of my smooth cuticles.

"So what are you doing awake so late?" Edward grinned.

The only light in the room was that of the faraway moon and the flickering glow of the television. Strands of dark hair rested on his long lashes and his eyes looked black, but warm.

It took me a moment to find my voice. I gulped away the lump in my throat. "I couldn't sleep." There. I had even managed a joke. I gave him a shy half-smile.

He returned it with a crooked one of his own and turned his head halfway to look at the television. I ducked my head down and a curtain of hair fell over my shoulder, separating us. I peeked through it a few times to see him watching me from the corner of his eyes.

A smile sprang across my face of its own accord, and my glee at his watching me was so warm I did not even bother to slip beneath my shell, back into the cold, harsh world of reality.

We sat for another few minutes before Edward suddenly turned off the television. It was instantly dark, at least darker than it had been before, though with our sharp vision Edward and I could see perfectly in the dark.

Edward turned to me, his outline glowing in my 'night vision'.

"Now what?" his voice was soft.

"Now what..." I repeated, mulling it over.

He was suddenly beside me, our shoulders almost touching. A magnetic force made me hyper aware of every curve of his body, our knees barely inches apart, and our hands less than centimeters.

"Uh-" I tried not to jump back. The closeness was something I was not used to. And this strange awareness possessing me...

"I'm sorry about the trip." His voice was muted velvet- quiet, soft, alluring. "I'm not sure what it was that made me act so rudely toward you. But I do want you to know" -he turned to face me; I looked away- "that I truly enjoy your company. It is something I both enjoy and fear."

My mind was in a frenzy. I could not steady the thing I had thought was long dead. Calming breaths did nothing.

"Maybe," I said slowly. "Maybe... you hadn't expected to want to go back home so quickly. And maybe when I said I was leaving you, were upset because you had thought you'd finally found someone to accompany you, someone that was not a bloodthirsty monster? And maybe the sadness surprised you, because you hadn't been expecting it?"

The thoughts were all my own, I only made it seem as though I were thinking them up on the spot; the truth was that they were the whispers that had spun around my head for a long time.

Edward's profile moved, his head bobbing up and down. "To the tee," he whispered, his words sharp in my ears.

His fingers were hot (not literally) on my shoulder, his knuckles grazing the skin of my neck for just a moment. "Thank you."

"For what?" I forced the pleasant shudder not to shake me.

"For helping me understand myself a little bit better."

"And after so long you don't think you understand yourself?"

"No more than you do," was his quick reply.

"What do you mean by that?" I turned to him and- to my intense displeasure- his fingers slipped off my shoulder.

"I apologize. I suppose I assumed you felt the same way I did." His eyes smoldered in the dark.

My cold heart sped up. "And what way do you feel?"

"Well, I feel as though there is so much I do not understand yet. I feel as though I do not understand myself. Often I feel very human emotions, and they surprise me. Silly human emotions..."

I leaned closer, fascinated. Edward was describing himself, and yet I felt as though he were reading my mind.

Just as the thought whistled through my mind, I curled away from him. "Are you reading my mind!" I hissed, the words cutting the darkness, sharper than knives.

"I'm sorry?" Edward was obviously confused.

But I was unrelenting. "Are you reading my mind?"

"I can't read your mind."

"How do I know you're telling the truth?"

"Shouldn't you know yourself better than I do?"

I was quiet for a long moment. Shouldn't I know myself better than he does? The obvious answer was 'Yes'. But it seemed as though, when Edward had been speaking half to himself of his emotions, it was as if he were describing me.

Perhaps he did know me better than I knew myself. But I did not say that.

"No," I sighed. "You're not reading my mind."

"Of course not. I can't, and- well, if I could I can't promise that I wouldn't, because I am so curious about you. You are the only person I have ever known who's mind I cannot read."

His sharp gaze simultaneously frightened and enticed me.

There was a crack behind us. I turned in time to see a white blur.

Tanya sat on the sofa Edward had just moved from. Her body was stretched across the entire length of the it, her head closest to us and her endlessly long legs curving to the end of the piece of furniture.

She turned onto her belly and settled her chin on the sofa's left arm, watching us closely.

A giggle tumbled from her lips, and though her smile was bright and innocent, her eyes remained narrowed suspiciously.

"What are you two doing down here so late?"

"Television," Edward and I mumbled at the same time.

I refused to look at him. My head pounded, Edward's onyx eyes still smoldering at me from beneath my own eyelids.

"Hmmm... Bella, did you ever finish unpacking? I could help you with that now if you want?" Tanya seemed so innocent.

I fell into her trap. Or she might have realized I was not after her beloved Edward and backed away. Whatever it was, I felt flattered by the blonde vampire before me.

I nodded my head, but thinking of the small black bag and the few items in it, I changed direction. "No, that's alright. There's nothing to unpack anyway. What kind of channels do you have on your television?"

"Just one." Tanya was obviously not satisfied. A smile flicked across her face as she turned to quiet one beside me. "Edward, would you like my help in unpacking?"

His lips were pursed, his eyes sharp on hers. She shrank back from his fiery stare.

"Or not..." she muttered, downcast.

"I apologize Bella, but may I speak to Tanya alone?" Edward looked down at me with a strange sincerity, and I could hardly pry my eyes away from his.

"That's fine. Of course. I'll be upstairs. Perhaps I'll unpack my bag and come down later." The words whipped out after me as I made my hasty exit.

I was back in my room before I allowed myself to think of what might be happening downstairs.

Head-pounding images of inhumanly handsome Edward and seductively beautiful Tanya wrapped around each other and rolling passionately over the soft, leather sofas filled my mind.

I swatted them away with a growl and squeezed my eyes shut until I saw only darkness behind my lids. The images faded away slowly, though their shadows remained, etched in my mind.

Feeling guilty beyond measure, I leant down as quietly as I could, and pressed myself flat against the bedroom's floor.

As soon as my fingertips met the floor, the near silent vibrations of their words shook my fingers. With my ear almost inside the wooden planks themselves, I shut my eyes and allowed myself to slip beneath.

"...like what you're doing...," Edward whispered.

"I can't stop," Tanya breathed fiercely.

"Last time I told you to try harder."

"That was forever ago. Can't you give it another go?"

I pulled myself off the floor as if it had burnt me. I stumbled backwards until I hit the bed, then catapulted myself onto it and buried my head beneath the piles of pillows.

Their passionate words echoed in my ears. The images of their love rolled through my mind, right off the leather couches and onto the floor.

"No, no, no, no, no..." I whispered, shaking my head fiercely. If only the tears could fall.

Why had I allowed myself to be so attached. Without even knowing I was attached, the very first moment I had seen him- golden-eyed Edward, so many years before, I had become attached.

"Why?" My unanswered question was muffled in the bedding. "Why?"

I felt the morning light before I saw it. A tickle began on on bare ankle and spread slowly to the other, sliding up my calf. When it hit the back of my knees, I realized the slight warm I felt was the sun.

I lifted my head slowly, pushing through the piles of pillows with ease. My hair felt a mess and my face sagged. The skin on my legs, from knee down, sparkled as if dusted with powdered diamonds.

Despite the golden orb of sunshine sitting high in the sky, the ground was covered in thick, white snow, gleaming beautifully. Perhaps it was an omen for a good day.

"Good morning, Bella," Carlisle greeted happily.

We had both walked out our bedroom doors at the same moment. I allowed myself to embarrassed at the attire I wore, the same as the night before.

"Thank you, Carlisle."

He was wearing a strange white coat that stretched to his ankles. A thick silver necklace of sorts hung around his shoulders.

"Where are you going?" I wondered, hoping it was not rude to pry.

"To the hospital," he answered calmly.

I thought of all the blood and people. My nose wrinkled. "Why would you go there?"

"I work there." He said it as though it should be obvious.

It was not. "What...?"

He was surprised. "Edward didn't tell you that I work at the hospital?"

I shook my head vigorously. Edward had certainly not mentioned that. I kept my face impassive at the thought of another secret he had kept from me. I hoped Carlisle could not see through my mask.

"Well then, I work at the hospital."

"How?" It seemed nearly impossible to me. No, completely impossible. It was one thing to only drink from animals, but completely another to handle human blood with your own bare hands.

"Many years of practice. And never a taste of human blood," he added, standing proudly.

My eyes must have widened, because he let out a chuckle, his golden eyes amused.

"I hope soon I may be able to help you learn abstinence as well. Good day, Bella." And with those words he was down the stairs, out the door, and slipping into a round, black car.

I watched as it rumbled down a thin trail and out of the circular forest. I shook my head and descended the stairs with a sigh- this coven was the strangest I had ever encountered.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

As soon as I heard the quiet click of Bella's door upstairs, I turned to Tanya. She caught my eyes and a smile, a smirk rather, flicked up on one side of her cheek.

She slipped off the long couch and joined me on the loveseat, sitting so that she was practically on my lap. I nudged her off as kindly as I could.

"What are you doing?" I asked, attempting to look more inquiring than annoyed and disgusted.

"Nothing at all," she replied, blinking up at me with those golden keeping you away from that silly Isabella. She pursed her lips as soon as the thought left her mind; a sigh fell from them. She had just admitted it.

I cocked my head at her. "Really? This is about that?"

She stuck her lip out until she looked absolutely absurd. Her head twisted at an awkward angle and she began twirling a butterscotch lock of hair around one finger. I had absolutely no clue what she was doing.

Really, Edward, I'm not blind. I see you're getting interested in her and I just need to warn you what you might be giving up... Tanya's mind whispered in a sickly sweet voice. She leaned closer to me until her low-necked shirt fell forward to reveal her ample cleavage.

I turned away, disgusted; she was acting no better than a common whore.

"I don't like what you're doing," I whispered harshly, my face turned away from her.

She pulled back and I saw her expression flicker, truly hurt. "I can't stop!" she cried suddenly, falling back on the cushions.

I felt sorry for her; I knew affections could not be controlled, but she was attracted to me for all the wrong reasons.

"Last time, I told you to try harder..." I was speaking of the year right before I had left to become a 'rebel'- to drink from humans. Just before leaving, Tanya had begged me to stay, but I had refused, finally telling her- bluntly- that I did not share the same feelings she did.

"That was forever ago. Can't you give it another go?" she pleaded in a ragged whisper.

I finally faced her and my resolve nearly crumbled at the desperate look in her innocent golden eyes, so very similar to a pair upstairs. But this was Tanya-

You're so much better with me...

-And I could read her mind.

"And what of those other men?"

"Which ones?" Her eyes were wide and innocent again, but images played in her mind.

There was a tall, pale man with shoulder-length blond hair and deep brown eyes, his chest already bare as Tanya leaned over to undo his belt.

There was a young man, his head shaved to show he was in the army, who gazed up at her with a fearful look in his eye, all the while caressing her bare arms in his work-roughened hands.

A much older man lay panting beside Tanya in a rumpled bed, mumbling 'Lacey' over and over again; apparently she was his wife.

I raised an eyebrow. "You don't love me, even though you may think you do. Tanya," I cut her off before she could speak, "you don't love me. You never did. Perhaps you find me attractive. Perhaps you like that I can play mind games with you, and understand you, and am tolerant of your behavior, and do not already have a mate...

"But you prefer your fun with the human men- as their succubus"-she had the decency to look embarrassed- "and I prefer..." I paused. Whatdid I prefer? I thought of Bella. "And I prefer something else."

Tanya was silent for a long time. Then she lifted her eyes from her lap and looked me straight on. Her expression was unreadable. "All right."

All right, what? I wondered, but she left before I could find out, through the door and probably into the forest.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

Everyone was gathered in the kitchen and living room area when I arrived. I took one look at Edward and Tanya, seated beside each other on the caramel loveseat, and turned to leave.

"Bella, darling. How was your first night here?" Esme asked, wrapping an arm around me in another one of her strange motherly gestures.

I allowed myself to sink into her embrace. "Just like my first morning here." I shrugged.

Esme smiled and led me to the kitchen. I cocked my head at the sight before me, utterly confused.

Carmen stood in front of the large, white, rectangular stove; a pan lay before her and a powdery aroma filled the air. She flipped the flat, sugared bread with a thick wooden spatula.

"What are you doing?" I asked, raising my eyebrows.

Carmen turned around, her dark hair swinging over her shoulder in a slow, sweeping motion. A smile stretched her ruby lips, and her golden eyes glimmered happily. Apparently cooking brought her great joy.

"We have to act human every now and then to keep suspicions down," she explained, stretching the pan out to show me the golden-brown pancake lying within.

Esme nodded. "The humans will be suspicious if we never shop at the market, and there's only one local one to make things worse, so we have to buy food there. And if we never have empty egg cartons or bags of flour, or any trash for that matter-"

"-the humans will be suspicious," Edward finished. He had arrived without me noticing.

I could not help running my eyes down the length of his body as he leaned gracefully against the wooden counter.

"But why cook?" I asked, turning away from him as inconspicuously as I could.

"Because it's fun," Esme said. "What's a better way to get rid of useless food than cooking it?"

I could not answer that question, partially because I did not understand it. I shrugged and shuffled closer to Carmen, who had returned to the stove and was in the process of making another pancake.

I felt Esme and Edward leave, bypassing the living room and going upstairs, their footsteps just whispers on the cold floor.

I pulled myself up onto the wooden counter and watched as Carmen poured a grainy, beige batter into the pan where it bubbled for a moment before settling down and beginning to cook. The sweet, powdery smell filled the air once more, drowning out the flowery scents of us vampires.

Trying to shake the blurry image of Edward from my mind, I focused on Carmen. She, in turn, had her entire attention on the quickly cooking pancake. She flipped it smoothly to the other side and a delighted sigh fell past her lips as it fell neatly onto the pan.

"You really enjoy it, don't you?" A smile had found itself onto my own lips, watching her.

Carmen turned, surprised to find me still watching her. "Yes." She nodded. "It's quite enjoyable. In my culture, back in my home, we would cook large meals. They were exquisite." She kissed her fingers with a flourish and laughed.

I giggled with her, and watched for a few more minutes as she made a new batch of pancake batter and began on her third stack.

I finally slipped off the counter, wondering how Carmen could continue with such a boring activity; it was so repetitive. And at the same time, how she could bear to be around things that reminded her of her past life. But now I was more curious now about the Denali coven and their strange habits.

I had planned on sitting in the living room and talking to Irina and Kate, who had seemed kind enough, but I heard whispers from a room on the side of the long hall.

Curiosity got the better of me, and I followed the near silent voices to a plain white door, opened just a crack.

"Edward, stop with your pacing, please," Esme whispered softly, but demandingly. "Just tell me what it is."

"I'm sorry Esme, but I know you'll be bothered by it. You love it here," Edward sounded tortured. I could imagine him running his hands through his velvety hair.

"What is 'it'?"

"Tanya..."

I turned away again, my ears burning. When would I learn not to eavesdrop? I rushed down the rest of the hall to the stairs and fell onto the third step up, staring at the front door with so much intensity I was sure it would explode any moment.

"Bella?"

My eyes widened and I sucked in a frightened breath as I realized it was Esme, suddenly sitting beside me on the stair.

I turned to face her slowly, hoping my expression was calm. "Good morning again, Esme."

She smiled kindly and leaned over. A thin arm draped around my shoulder, another motherly embrace of hers; again, it had that calming affect she seemed to spew.

"I heard you outside the door," she said softly.

I felt the muscles in my jaw clench, waiting for her to tell me off angrily. "How could you eavesdrop on us so rudely when we took you in without a single question!"

"I apologize- I shouldn't have listened in, I'm sorry." I refused to meet her eyes, afraid of what I would find there.

But her arm tightened around me. "It's all right, Bella. I'm not mad about that, I'm worried."

"Worried?" My brow furrowed, confused.

"You didn't hear what Edward was telling me about?"

I shook my head slowly, watching Esme closely. She tried not to show it, but the relief was clear on her face.

I bit my lip to keep myself from asking, but the question tumbled out anyways. "What was Edward telling you about?"

Esme opened her mouth a few times, then closed it again and again. She pursed her lips and opened her mouth again, then closed it. "It was nothing important, dear." Her smile was relaxed, but her eyes were tight.

I would not push it. "All right." I mimicked her smile, right down to the eyes.

She stood up. "We can go hunting tonight, if you want."

I nodded vigorously, finally looking forward to something. "I would love that!"

The night was young. The sky was still a light shade of navy and the stars had just begun to twinkle into life.

"Are you excited, Bella?" Kate asked me, as I attempted to sit still on the living room couch.

We were waiting for Carlisle to return home. Esme was upstairs 'getting ready', though I could not imagine what she needed to get ready for.

I tried not to jump up and begin running around. An entire day of waiting had left me extremely impatient in these last few minutes. I heard something rumble, and glanced up for perhaps the hundredth time, hoping to see Carlisle's shining black car rolling down the drive.

Kate followed my gaze and smiled. "Apparently you're more excited than we thought. I should call Esme down then, before you run off by yourself," she joked, but did not move.

Kate was not going; her eyes were a rich, beautiful topaz all around. The entire Denali coven was staying back for this hunting trip.

"We just went yesterday, and the girls did a few days before. Besides, it would be less conspicuous if only a few of us went at a time," Eleazar had said when I asked him.

"Carlisle is here." Esme was suddenly beside us, looking absolutely gorgeous in long black pants and a long sleeved black shirt. Her skin contrasted it beautifully, her glossy pink lips spread in an excited smile.

"Esme, you look lovely..."

She dropped her eyes, embarrassed. "Is it too much?" she asked, tugging at the plain pair of pants.

"No, it's very simple, but you make it lovely," Kate took the words right out of my mouth. We grinned at each other.

"Oh, well then..." Esme pushed a lock of hair behind her ear nervously. "I just wanted to look nice for Carlisle, you know."

I tried to hide my wide grin. "Where is he?"

"I saw his car coming down the drive. They're so slow... if only we could run, we would be everywhere much faster, but of course we have to look human for... well, for the humans."

I heard soft footsteps and looked up, expecting Carlisle, but meeting a pair of hypnotizing onyx eyes instead; wisps of bronze hair were falling into them as they blinked at me. A strange expression was on Edward's face, but I looked away before I could figure out what it was.

"Good, Edward, you're ready. We can leave now, Bella." Esme grinned and turned for the door.

"Wait- he's going?" I could not hide the irritation in my voice.

Edward looked hurt, as Esme answered slowly. "Of course..."

There was an awkward silence, in which my head pounded annoyingly and everyone stared at me expectantly. I forced a smile. "That's wonderful!"

"Yes, Edward needs a little practice on his abstinence as well," Esme said, watching Edward and sounding as close to bitter as I had ever heard her.

Edward dropped his eyes to the floor.

"Esme?" Carlisle's quiet voice found us from the door.

"Coming," she replied. "Let's go then?" she asked, turning to us.

"Right behind you." Edward saluted, earning himself a little laugh from his mother.

We met Carlisle at the door. He was no longer wearing his doctor's coat, but was also dressed in all black. I glanced over to find Edward in the same attire.

I frowned down at my khaki shorts and white shirt. "Erm... Esme, is this all right to wear?" I tugged at the shirt.

"Yes, it's perfect. We usually go hunting in the afternoon, and it's easier to wear black then to blend in with the trees as much as we can, as well as hiding the dirt and blood, of course. What you're wearing is perfect, if you don't mind it becoming dirty."

I shrugged, relieved. I did not have anything that even fully covered my legs, let alone my arms.

We walked out into the night, shutting the door behind us. More stars had winked into life; they floated above us, some as bright as frozen fireworks in the dark, Alaskan sky.

"We're going to the very center of the largest forest nearby," Carlisle explained, as we took off at a run.

Edward was at the head of the pack, so fast he was almost a blur in my vision. His moved lithely and with grace, like a cheetah. Esme, Carlisle, and I ran together, me slightly behind the couple so I would not bypass them.

"Where is the largest forest?" I asked.

"It surrounds our current home and extends in all directions." Carlisle waved a hand at the light evergreen forest we had just entered.

A few minutes of running and we were finally in the thickest part of the forest. The canopy of evergreen bristles, covered with a light blanket of snow, was so thick the dark sky and its blooming stars were completely invisible. I peered up, attempting to divide the branches with my eyes and catch a peek at the lovely Alaskan sky, but nothing could be seen, and I dropped my gaze with a sigh.

"All right, Bella," Carlisle said, turning to me with a clap of his hands. "Edward tells me that you already hunted once?"

I nodded.

"Then we will put Edward in charge of watching you again, and Esme and I will stay back." I must have looked confused, because he explained, "We don't want to make you nervous by crowding around you, so Esme and I will keep guard here just in case you leave the forest."

I nodded again, feeling a tingle of nerves begin in my arms and legs. I bounced up and down a few times.

Carlisle and Esme fell back a few steps, hidden among the shadows of the trees. Edward's soft fingers were suddenly at my waist, a shock sending a different sort of feeling through my nerves.

I gasped and jumped back a step, narrowing my eyes at the handsome vampire before me.

Esme shifted behind us, rustling a few thin branches. I composed myself, if only for her, and turned to Edward with what I hoped was a kind smile. "You surprised me, Mr. Cullen."

He raised an eyebrow, but his hand retreated to his side. "This way please, Ms. Swan."

I followed him until we were almost a mile away from where we had left Esme and Carlisle. I was about to ask why we were so far, when I smelled it.

The most ambrosial scent in the world reached my nose, twirling around in ribbons of sweetness, taunting me. My muscles coiled; I was a predator again.

"Where?" I whispered softly, turning on the spot. My eyes caught a quick movement behind a tree. I leaned forward, only to find it was an inedible squirrel.

"Be patient, Bella." Edward's soft murmur of my name distracted me, and I missed the deer shoot forward right across my path.

I continued to stare at him though, unable to wrench my gaze from his deep, soulful eyes and full lips. The tip of his tongue darted out to moisten them with the venom that pulsed through our veins. He turned to me curiously.

"Bella...?"

I swallowed, and finally pulled my eyes away from his. "Sorry," I muttered. I made to leave-

"Wait, Bella!" Edward reached out and took my arm.

I twisted away from him as if I'd been burnt. "Leave me alone," I hissed.

"Bella, please." The desperation in his voice made me stop.

I took a few steps back and crossed my arms, watching him expectantly.

He sighed and ran a hand through his silky hair; it fell back to perfect disarray— my mind stuttered.

"Bella, please tell me why you have been acting so strangely."

"I haven't been acting strangely– you have."

"How? What did I do?" He pleaded with his eyes, and I had to look away before I could speak again.

Tanya," I muttered. As soon as the word was out of my mouth, I could not believe I had admitted it; I had handed Edward my weakness, placed in a pretty box with a bow on it, no less.

Edward raised his eyebrows, surprise clear in his expression. Then his eyes fell and his jaw clenched. "What did she say to you?"

It was my turn to be surprised. "N-nothing." I would not admit that it had bothered me when she had 'threatened' me, or that I had heard their conversation.

"Tanya has always been rather... protective of me, if you will..."

"I've noticed," I said coldly.

"Please Bella, whatever she's said to you is a lie. There is nothing between us and there never was. Her affections have been misplaced- on me. The other night, I told her clearly that I did not want to be with her, and–"

" –what?" I cut him off, sure I had misheard him.

"I told her... that she was wrong to pursue me...," Edward said slowly, watching me sharply.

I shook my head, as if to rid my ears of water. Could he be lying to me? But as our eyes met, I knew he was telling the truth. I cursed myself for eavesdropping, of course no good could come of it...

But my mouth was stretching into a smile. "All right," I shrugged, hoping I did not look too please.

Edward smiled as well, and took two steps forward so that we were closer. "Truce?" He held out a hand.

I rolled my eyes, but laughed and grabbed his hand anyway. There was no ignoring the warmth, in my stomach, I felt when our skin touched and his grip tightened around mine. He pulled on my hand and I stumbled forward into him. I could feel his slight muscles pressed against my own.

"S-sorry," I stuttered, endlessly embarrassed.

He gave me a beautiful, crooked smile and swept his messy, bronze hair from his eyes again. "Quite all right."

"Edward! Bella!"

We jumped back from each other and smoothed our clothing, glancing at each other giddily, like two sheepish schoolchildren.


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

After Edward and I had our uplifting conversation, I found a new packet of energy inside myself. After springing and drinking three deer in a row, I was absolutely satiated.

"Brilliant, Bella." Carlisle squeezed my shoulder in such a fatherly gesture it momentarily threw me off; I had not exactly placed him as the touchy-feely type.

I smiled up at him gratefully. "Thanks to Edward of course." I gave him a dazzling grin too. The bronze-haired Adonis sent me a secret smile, shy but always alluring

The next thing I knew we were back at the Denali coven's home, which looked more beautiful than it ever had.

Once Carlisle relayed the news of my successful second hunt I was immediately wrapped in a tight embrace, Kate's sweet scent following behind her. Irina's fiery hair brushed my cheek as she enveloped my other side.

When the enthusiastic she-vampires were finished with their lung-crushing hugs and their squeals of joy, they stepped back and allowed the others to join in.

Despite the love I felt when Esme's arms encircled me proudly, and when I smelled the powdery sweet scent of pancakes left around Carmen, I felt I did not deserve this much attention. They had been successful in restraining themselves for so long, drinking only animals, and I had just had my second hunt, still afraid to draw near humans for fear of sucking them dry.

I pushed the dreadful image from my mind with a shudder and gave Eleazar the warmest smile I could muster as his deep voice recited words of congratulations.

"Thank you, thank you everyone." I hoped I was being modest enough. "Perhaps I should go change now…" My shirt was damp with blood. I had managed to hunt and drink from animals, but my manners were absolutely dreadful.

The others stayed downstairs to talk amongst themselves. They seemed to talk so much– one would think that after so many years of talking, the subjects would run dry…

I felt a presence behind me. I turned so quickly I frightened Edward, as well as myself.

He placed a hand over the left side of his chest, where his cold heart might have once pulsed rapidly. "Goodness gracious, Bella. You gave me a scare."

My name on his lips sent a delicious trill through my body. I smirked at him. "Says the scary vampire stalking me in the dark of the night."

"I wasn't stalking," I heard Edward mutter as we continued up the stairs.

I stopped again at the top of the steps and Edward bumped in to me. He did not move though, but remained standing closely behind me; his knee touching the back of my leg; his fingers just barely brushing my own on the handrail; his cool breath creating goosebumps on the back of my neck.

"Why did you stop?" he asked after a moment of silence- one that felt as though it lasted forever.

"Um… I'm not sure…" I moved again; into the hallway and across the wood floor, past door after door until I stopped at my own.

Edward was still there.

"Planning on joining me tonight?"

Edward raised an eyebrow, and I suddenly felt the shaming heat of embarrassment rush through my mind; how perverted of him to twist the meaning of my words. I told him so.

He exhaled a laugh. "Hah. Do you know what they say about people who assume?"

Assume makes an ASS out of U and ME. I rolled my eyes. "Why yes I do, and I don't care to say it out loud- it's not ladylike."

"Since when have you been a acting like a lady?" he retorted teasingly.

I pouted, acting as though it was a joke, but feeling hurt at his words. I would not be taken for a messy girl who acted as a boy. "What do you mean, I'm not ladylike?"

His gaze dropped to the floor and then ran from my toes, up my body, and back to my eyes; I felt thoroughly naked.

If I were human, my face would be completely red. I crossed my arms over my chest, gritting my teeth unconsciously. I had just made amends with him less than an hour before, and he was already treating me in a disgusting manner.

"What are you doing, Mr. Cullen?"

He looked surprised at the tone of my voice, then sheepish. "I apologize, Bella. That was rude of me."

"You seem to be rude often. Perhaps you're the ungentlemanly one."

"Certainly not!" he slapped his hand over his heart in an exaggerated sort of way. "I was merely viewing your choice of clothing- completely unladylike clothing, might I add."

I glanced down. All I could see was a bloodstained white shirt and long, bare legs. I huffed, shaking my head. "There are easier ways to tell me so than eying me like a dirty, dirty man."

A laugh suddenly burst out of Edward's mouth, a loud har-har-har. He slapped a hand over his ruby lips, muffling the sound of his musical laughter.

I blinked at him, enchanted by his laugh, and yet amazed at the strangeness of the timing.

He recovered after a moment or two, I having stood there all the while and watching him shake with his badly suppressed chuckles.

"Care to explain what that was, Mr. Cullen?"

"Edward," he corrected.

"My name is Bella, not Edward," I managed the joke with a completely straight face.

"Well, my name must be Edward then."

I held out my hand. "A pleasure meeting you, Edward."

"Au contraire, the pleasure is all mine, Lady Isabella." He took my hand and, in a surprising move, pressed his lips to my knuckles. They were soft and warm with blood. I hid my shiver of pleasure.

When he pulled away, I sucked in a quick breath of air and acted as though he had not just thrown me off with his alluring antics. "And I'll have you know, Edward: I'm a vampire, not a lady."

"And I'll have you know"—Edward's angel lips curved up— "My room is right behind you."

I glanced at the door across the hall from mine. "Oh." This time, my joy could not be contained.

A smile stretched across my lips and, after a fruitless attempt at hiding it, I allowed it to show; dazzling white teeth outlined by full cherry lips, warm with blood. Edward's now-topaz eyes gazed deeply into mine, and in the molten gold I could see my own hypnotized self watching him.

I felt myself drawn to him. His hands were nearly at my waist when I realized we had moved forward. Remember Bella… your promise, I warned myself, all the while imagining the feel of those soft, florid lips against my own.

His fingers had only just brushed the exposed sliver of skin on my stomach, and the tingle of pleasure had nearly begun, when my mind came out of its haze.

I gasped, unintentionally inhaling his scent; its sweetness made me lightheaded.

I stumbled back a few steps, breaking the thin strand of physical contact, and fully snapping the mental connection.

"I'm sorry…" I mumbled, feeling a strong sense of déjà vu.

Edward's eyes remained on the ground for a long moment, his head down. I feared I had truly hurt him and that he would never give me another chance.

His gaze flicked back up to me, his eyes soft and vulnerable. "I'm sorry…you obviously aren't ready for"—he waved his hands in the air between us— "this…So I won't push you."

He turned to leave.

I lifted my hand before he had taken a single step. "Wait– don't…don't go."

He raised an eyebrow, all his cockiness preparing to come back.

"And don't act like that," I warned.

His expression became inquiring. "May we speak somewhere?"

"Right here is fine…" I was uncertain. If we were to go to a room and sit down together, would I be able to control myself? I doubted it. Edward and I had only just made up today and I was not going to risk that by losing my head to my silly teenage hormones (though technically I was well over 40).

He cocked his head and moved back a few steps, pushing his bedroom door open with his back. He flicked a light switch, even though we could both see perfectly well without it.

"Or in here…" He raised an eyebrow.

I could see the edge of a large, white bed over his shoulder. It was my turn to raise an eyebrow. "Mr. Cullen," I gasped, placing my hands on my heart, "are you trying to seduce me!"

He looked momentarily shocked, but blinked it away and a coy smirk settled on his lips, his topaz eyes smoldering at me. "Why yes, yes I am."

Perhaps I should have refused his offer, as joking as the exchange had been. But I moved lightly towards him, pushing my hips from side to side for the full effect. I made sure to let just the side of my leg graze him before stepping inside the room.


	15. Chapters 1522

**so all these chapters are all adopted still, and i would like to thank you for sticking with me all this time!**

**i know, i know. it's been forever. i've heard it all before!**

**i only have a limited supply of cookies and smiles and hugs, so if you review, you get your pick!**

**R&R!**

Chapter 15: Molten Gold

I examined the room. It was clean, but what else had I expected? In reality, with all the human gestures they made, I thought the room would be messier.

Edward's room was crisp and tidy, just like him. The sandy floorboards clashed with the mahogany wood in the rest of the house. A muted golden comforter covered the bed, its sides neatly tucked beneath the mattress. The only thing that looked out of place was a shabby, cardboard box tucked beneath the bed.

I smirked. "A little obsessive compulsive, Edward?"

He looked embarrassed. "I have nothing better to do in my spare time than clean," he defended, clicking the door shut behind us and striding to his bed. He plopped down on it a little harder than one normally would; the sheets mussed around the edges.

I hid a grin as I joined him, sitting a safe distance away.

"So," I began after a short pause, "what did you want to talk about?" I examined my fingernails, careful not to show my apprehension.

"Just… you and me."

I felt my jaw clench. "You and… me?" My throat was dry. I cleared it. "What about us?"

"Not you and me. Just you."

"You already know all about me."

"Not that much…"

"Well, before I begin spilling the darkest secrets of my mind– I think you should tell me your story."

"What story? There's nothing to tell." He looked away.

I rolled my eyes. "Very funny, Edward." I leaned forward, draping myself across the bed so that we lay side by side; me on my belly and him on his back.

"What's funny?" he mumbled. I noticed him shift away, and forced the sudden throbbing of my lungs to subside. I had no right to take it personally. I was trying to stay away from his charms, after all.

"Why won't you tell me how you were changed?" I pressed.

"Oh… oh… That's what you wanted to know?" He looked relieved.

"What did you think I wanted to know?"

He shook his head, looking away. "Nothing… nothing."

There was a very long pause as I watched him and he watched the ceiling. I gave a loud sigh. He did not move. I sighed again, this time nudging his stomach with my elbow. He shifted uncomfortably, pretending he did not hear me; it did not escape my notice that the corners of his lips were twitching.

Just as I was pulling in the air for my third, and loudest, sigh, he began to speak quietly. "I was born in Chicago in 1901. Carlisle found me dying of the Spanish Influenza in a hospital where he worked– that was in 1918; I was seventeen. My father had already died and my mother was on her deathbed. We were placed in a ward for the dead and dying."

"And Carlisle slipped on his control?" And brought you into the everlasting darkness so that you could meet me and we would live happily ever after…? I pushed the silly thought away and looked at Edward understandingly.

"Of course not!" I flinched from the protectiveness in his voice. "Sorry…" he scooted closer to me on the bed, and flipped himself so he was on his stomach, facing me.

His gaze of molten gold dropped to meet mine, eyes shimmering sympathetically. "I didn't mean to sound so harsh. Carlisle saved my life. He has never drank a single drop of human blood to satisfy his thirst. My mother saved me too, by asking Carlisle to save me," he added.

"Do you miss your mother?" I asked timidly, remembering of my own. He nodded solemnly, never breaking our gaze. It was as though the room was becoming smaller and smaller, and slowly everything disappeared but the bed beneath us and his eyes, less than a foot away from my own.

I wavered, half my mind shouting at me to break the stare before I got carried away, but the other half thinking about the fact that we had both been through similar losses. And then his golden eyes smoldered at me and I unconsciously leaned closer until I was able to see the tiny flecks of caramel in his deep irises. I licked my lips, which felt extremely dry and, in thinking of them, my gaze fell to Edward's angel lips– rosy, smooth, and ever so soft. When my eyes returned to his, I saw the blooming desire, likely mimicked by my own.

"I'm sorry about your mother," I whispered, so close my breath brushed his lips like a soft caress.

His eyes closed and he exhaled a gentle sigh. I watched him with growing curiosity– and desire. He looked utterly vulnerable, but as he opened his eyes again, there was a new determination that was wholly delicious.

He leaned down until our eyes were inches away, and I could not look away from the pools of endless gold.

"I'm sorry about—" I began again– I felt like a broken record, but my mind was suddenly blank… before he pressed his lips against my own.

I gasped, feeling the freshly drank blood boiling beneath my lips as he brushed testing butterfly kisses to them until I could take it no longer. I reached my hand up and wrapped it around his neck, pulling us both closer to deepen the kiss.

His pillowy lips moved in perfect sync with mine, until we both pulled apart, breathing loudly, gasps of air we did not need.

"Oh," I gasped again, placing trembling fingers to my tingling lips– they felt strangely warm, as if all the scanty blood in my body had rushed up to them. Edward and I stared at each other for a few silent moments. I noticed that his lips were just as red as mine, and slightly swollen.

His hair was even more of a mess than usual and I realized, with growing embarrassment, that I had taken this opportunity to finally run my hands through those silken locks.

"Um, well…," I began. I was embarrassed to find that my voice was extremely high and strained. I cleared my throat and tried again. "Well…," I said stupidly. I could think of nothing to say. "Well… goodnight."

And then I was gone.

Chapter 16: Kate

I went straight to my room, locked the door, and fell in a heap on my bed. After a moment of laying in a tight ball, my muscles coiled uncomfortably, I sat up with an angry huff and pulled my bloodstained t-shirt over my head. It had been white, but now it was covered with angry red splotches; I would never be able to wear it again. I took the khaki shorts off as well. They had escaped the evidence of my messy hunting, but the cheap stitching bothered my sensitive nerves.

Slipping beneath the covers in only my underwear was extremely relaxing. The silky sheets felt like heaven on my marble skin. Heaven's touch… I was reminded almost involuntarily of Edward.

A frustrated sigh fell past my lips, the only noise in a room as silent as death.

Edward kissed me, I thought, biting my lip.

Edward kissed me. They were the three most beautiful words I had thought in a long time.

Edward kissed me. And I could not stop thinking them. My lips stretched into a manic grin. It was like a drug, this new mantra of mine.

Edward kissed me. I could still taste him on my lips, I realized, and licked them, savoring the taste sweeter than honey.

Perhaps it was not bad that Edward kissed me. After all, he had proven himself in my eyes. We had both lost everyone dear to us, especially our mothers. But I had so much more to learn about Edward, and I did not want anyone (specifically Tanya) ruining any chance I had to get to know him better.

There was a knock at my door. I jumped, having been lost in thoughts– uncharacteristically vicious ways to keep Tanya away. I pulled the bed sheets tight around my body, suddenly feeling embarrassed at lying in bed practically naked. If anyone found out, they would think I was immensely desperate.

"Come in," I said softly, knowing the vampire on the other end would be able to hear my whisper. I pulled the sheets so tightly around my body, they bit into my skin.

The doorknob rattled. It was locked.

"Um… I'll be right there!" I untangled myself from the bed sheets and jumped off the bed, rushing to my closet in just two graceful leaps. I pulled on a knee-length white skirt, noticing vaguely the pattern of blue flowers on it, and slipped a blue shirt over it.

"I'll be right there," I said again, adjusting the collar.

When I opened the door, Edward stood against the wall casually, his silky bronze hair falling into his topaz eyes. They glanced at me, taking in my appearance and then sliding back up to meet my own. He smiled.

"May I come in?"

I bit my lip and nodded slowly, moving back to let him into the room. I left the door open a crack, just in case.

"Edward, I don't know if I want the others to know," I said, the very moment he sat down on the bed. I clapped a hand over my mouth, staring up at him with wide eyes. The words had left my mouth without my consent.

He nodded immediately. I was surprised; I had expected him to put up a fight.

"Tanya probably wouldn't find this quite to her liking," he said.

I grimaced– Tanya. "No, she wouldn't like it at all."

"But we don't need to worry about her for much longer," Edward said, completely certain.

I frowned. "How do you know?"

"You'll find out later. All you have to do is get through the rest of this week."

"Edward. What is it? Tell me!" He shook his head, lips pursed. I huffed, then a bright idea formed in my mind. I smiled up at him through my eyelashes, summoning every ounce of desire I possessed, and hoping I did not look like a complete idiot. He blinked rapidly, shaking his head.

"Can I convince you?" I leaned forward, gazing directly into his golden eyes.

He blinked again, then smiled cockily. "You can try."

I had it in the bag. I grinned at him wickedly and before he knew what happened, I had pounced on him, pushing him back into the bed, and landing over him.

"Hello Edward," I purred. I leaned down and brushed my lips over his teasingly, then let them trail down his neck to the strong skin of his chest.

"Mmm…" he mumbled.

I ran my hands up his arms and smiled up at him. "What did you say was happening at the end of this week?"

"Nothing." He managed to smirk at me. The devil!

His lips reached out to me, waiting to be kissed. I was tempted, but a sound outside made my head snap up.

Kate stood with her hand on the doorknob, the door open just a crack– my doing. She did not look shocked at all. Instead, she gave me a suggestive smile, winked, and left as quietly as she had come. Mortification rushed through me, my head throbbing, and angry butterflies battering at the delicate lining of my stomach. "Oh no…"

"What's wrong?" Edward sat up as I slipped off him and curled up on a corner of the bed.

"We're going too fast. We're taking it too far. It's absolutely unfitting. What happens if something goes wrong? Should we tell them? No, we shouldn't tell them. Especially not Tanya. Tanya would just kill me for taking him. How could I have let this happen? I knew I shouldn't have gone, but—"

"I'm still here, Bella," Edward said softly. He rubbed my arm with his long, calming fingers.

"We shouldn't tell them," I said again, this time looking at him pleadingly.

He nodded. "Not now. We will eventually, but we'll know when that is… eventually."

"What would Tanya do?" I asked, frightened by the thought of being murdered when I was least expecting it, by a strawberry blonde temptress no less.

Edward chuckled, rubbing my back soothingly. "She only just wants to be loved."

"Isn't she one of the succubi?" I looked at Edward.

He nodded.

"Then wouldn't she already be loved?" I paused. "A lot?"

Edward laughed and I felt embarrassed again.

"It's true. But I think she's looking for a bit of a longer lasting love." His eyes bored into my own, shimmering gold and heavenly topaz.

I suddenly felt sympathetic for the blonde. "I know how she feels…" And I looked away, hoping he did not see the dopey, slavish look on my face.

Edward wanted me to stay with him for the remainder of the night, and perhaps he would have kept me for the rest of the following day, but I refused his offer.

"Why?" he pouted, pressing me against my door with his body, as if it could wedge me into place and never let me go. My very own doorstop…

"Very inappropriate." I pressed the very tips of my fingers to his muscular chest and gave him a little push back. "And you call yourself a gentleman," I scoffed.

He gave a fake cough and tugged the collar of his shirt. The first few buttons were open– my doing, of course. "Sorry, milady."

I smiled, melting in his smoldering gaze. "Yes well… let's try to behave ourselves, shall we?"

Edward grinned roguishly. "I can't help that I want to be with you so badly."

I want you too, I thought, even though his words had not been so…suggestive. Instead I said: "Fix your shirt, please, or anyone you meet will be suspicious. How long do we have to keep this up?"

"Only another four days, sweet." His breath was sweet. His lips were delicious. I stared at them longingly. He grinned knowingly.

"Take that cocky smirk off your face and get out of here," I teased, opening the door, pushing him out, and closing it behind him before I could be tempted to let him stay longer. With his god-like face no longer in sight, I felt strangely alone.

I sighed and leaned my back against the door, remembering the last few hours. Time truly did fly. How quickly the moments had passed between the time of our renewal of trust, his confessions in me, and our brief moments of solitude.

We had talked nearly half the night, while finding clever ways to keep touching each other; his hands in my hair, my fingers on his arm, his lips at my ear. Of course we had not 'done the deed' (the thought sent butterflies rattling through my stomach), though I was sure Kate might think otherwise.

"Kate," I sighed, shaking my head. I would have to 'set her straight' by telling her a blatant lie. But that would be extremely difficult, as she had seen us in a very compromising position…

"Kate!" I walked down the hill quickly, meeting her at the very end of the drive, empty of cars.

"Oh, hello Bella." She smiled quickly and turned back to poking at the ground with a damp stick.

I raised an eyebrow as I neared her. "What are you doing, Kate?" I laughed.

She did not turn to look at me, but I could see she was attempting to suppress a grin. The stick moved faster across the snow. Kate stood up with a satisfied sigh and threw the twig behind her; it landed in a soft patch of snow and was slowly eaten up like quicksand until it was no longer visible.

I leaned forward to examine Kate's handiwork.

"KATE!" I heard the anxious screech leave me. I turned to her, my eyes wide with growing anger. "Kate!"

In the slushy, innocent snow, with large, block letters, the words "EDWARD + BELLA" had been carved.

"Kate!" I cried again, unable to peel my eyes away from them. As angry and disbelieving as I could make myself sound, our names looked quite lovely beside each other. Seeing them together made my stomach jump– pleasurably.

But I stomped over to the words and stepped on our names repeatedly, until all that was left was a messy ditch of footprints and dirty snow.

Kate frowned. "Why did you ruin it? I spent all morning writing that."

"Then you should learn how to write faster." I could not take sympathy on her just yet; she had nearly given away the secret. I was sure Kate of all people would know what would happen if the others knew about Edward and I.

"Well, how do you know I wasn't going to write something else?" Kate demanded. I raised an eyebrow. "How do you know I wasn't just taking a break, and I was going to come back and finish the message?"

"Were you?" I asked skeptically.

"Yes." I scoffed.

Kate glared. "Yes, I was going to write something else."

"What then?"

She paused. "It was supposed to say: 'Edward + Bella: Esme needs your dirty clothes so she can do the laundry'."

"Oh, is that right?"

Kate nodded vehemently, her topaz eyes large and innocent. I would have almost believed her, if I did not see the little smirk she was attempting to hide. "Very funny, Kate. But really—" I turned serious "—you can't tell anyone what you saw yesterday."

"What do you mean?" Kate frowned, mimicking my sudden change in mood.

I glanced around to make sure there was no one around to listen. Just to make sure, I took Kate's hand and dragged her farther down the driveway.

"Yesterday, you saw Edward in my room."

Kate grinned.

"Nothing happened, Kate. Absolutely nothing."

Her smile widened. "It didn't look like nothing."

"Okay, fine… we kissed, and… I'm not sure what our relationship status is, but…"

"How scandalous! Is he courting you?" Kate's eyes sparkled.

"Err… I'm not sure. I've never been courted before. What does it entail?"

Kate laughed. "Oh… flowers, I suppose. And some sweets maybe."

"What do I do with sweets?" I laughed. "I can't eat."

"It's a doomed relationship already."

I sobered immediately. "I know, but I don't know what else to do. I like him too much to let it go."

Kate's eyes widened. "I was joking, Bella!"

"Oh… well… it is doomed either way. We can't tell anyone, and relationships in secrecy never work out."

"I think they're romantic," Kate insisted.

"Says the succubus."

We broke out in laughter.

"What if it doesn't last?" I said after a moment.

Kate smiled softly. "Then that's what happens. But there's no need to go through your whole existence thinking the sky is going to fall at any moment. Just enjoy it as it is." It was good advice.

"I get scared when I'm around him," I admitted.

"What do you mean?" Kate cocked her head.

"I feel so vulnerable. Like I'm giving him my heart, whenever I talk to him, or even if I just look at him. And he makes me… he makes me jump, every time I see him."

Kate grinned mischievously. "You're in love."

"I AM NOT!"

"You're not what?" asked a velvety voice from behind me. I knew that voice; I had memorized that voice; I would know that voice from miles away.

I widened my eyes at Kate, silently threatening her not to tell him about our conversation.

She beamed at me. "Nothing, Edward. I'll leave you two alone…" And the excited vampire pranced away back into her hidey-hole, probably to watch me lose my head.

Chapter 17: Archway

He stood less than a foot away, his honey eyes sparkling with suppressed joy and his ruby lips quirked into a badly hidden smile.

"Bella," he greeted, sweeping my hand to his lips for a lingering kiss.

"Edward." I mimed a curtsy. It was difficult, with my skirt from last night damp with snow and clinging to my legs.

"So, what were you and Kate talking about?"

"Nothing," I answered too quickly.

He stared at me for a long time, and I felt myself getting lost in those butterscotch eyes.

He changed topic quickly. "How was your night?" A smile played on his lips. A mischievous light danced in his eyes.

I shrugged, keeping my face impassive. "Oh, so-so… A little boring, if you ask me."

His eyes narrowed playfully. "Perhaps we should work on making it more fun. Don't want you get to bored here, you know."

The wind picked up, attempting to take my long, mahogany tresses with it. trands of hair fluttered in the breeze and I was sure I resembled Medusa at this point. I ran a hand through my hair and kept it relaxed on top of my head.

I glanced around, a sudden thought occurring to me. "Do you think any humans will show up around here?"

Edward looked confused, probably wanting to return to our playful banter. "Not as far as I know. They may be humans, but that doesn't mean they're completely ignorant. They know there's something weird about us, so they try to stay away. But we always have to be on guard." He paused. "Why?" His head cocked to one side, a tumble of sleek, bronze locks framing his tawny eyes.

I raised an eyebrow and stuck out a bare leg. "It's snowy here."

He stared at my leg for far too long, then met my eyes, grinning like a Cheshire cat.

"What?" I demanded, suddenly feeling self conscious. I pulled my leg back and tucked it behind me, as if I could hide it from view.

He continued to smirk, a wicked look in his eye.

"What?"

He shook his head, a roguish grin barely concealed by his angelic features.

I rolled my eyes and stormed away. I could feel him following behind me, almost able to pick up the soft sloshing of his footsteps through the snow. I stopped. He stopped just a few inches behind me. I spun around, surprised by how close he was. A lock of my hair landed on his shoulder, but I ignored it and glared up at him with all the power in my newly-golden eyes. He blinked a few times, obviously trying to regain his control.

"What?" I pressed, staring right into his little, black pupils. A dark reflection glared back at me.

His smooth hand fluttered to my cheek, brushing a lock of hair from my face and tucking it behind my ear. Then, in an instantaneous change, his large, pale hands wrapped around my shoulders and pushed me back a step.

"Hey!" I snarled as he brushed past me into the house without a single apology. I would have been hurt if he had not turned back around and given me a teasing wink before letting the door slam shut behind him.

I hopped up all three stairs in one jump and slid into the house in another. The door slammed shut behind me. Edward was not in the kitchen, but I found him lounging on a couch in the living room.

Eleazar was the only other one there, his stare glued unblinkingly on the grainy, black and white television. The stout man from a few nights before was back, droning on in his monotonous voice. I heard the word 'war' quite a few times, and wondered if it was bad that I had absolutely no idea what the current news was.

"Hello Eleazar." I smiled shyly at the tall, dark-haired man.

He turned away from the T.V. for just a moment to give me a dazzling white-toothed grin, before returning with renewed interest.

I raised an eyebrow at Edward. He raised one back.

I took a seat beside him and leaned over to whisper in his ear. "Who could find this stuff interesting."

Edward shot me a 'look'. "I find it interesting."

I had to force myself not to snort at that. "Well then, you're obviously not as interesting as I thought. My affections must have been misplaced."

He knew I was joking. His jaw twitched, but he kept the annoyed look on his face like a perfect mask. "And I thought you were an educated woman who cared about current events. Obviously my affections must have been misplaced."

"Well, that's fine by me, because I know an extremely attractive male whose room is just across the hall from mine, and he obviously isn't a boring old prune."

I stood up and left the room without looking at him. I stopped at the foot of the stairs, giving Edward a chance to catch up. I hoped our conversation had been quiet enough that Eleazar had not heard. Once again, being with Edward had made me completely ignorant to what else was going on around me.

He was before me in a flash, his sharp eyes scorching me, staring into my own unrelentingly. The passion in his eyes stirred something in my stomach– something I had not felt for an immeasurable period of time.

He placed his hand on the banister, his fingers brushing my own with the lightest of touches, an interminable touch.

I attempted to take a step back, to distance myself so I could think. I stumbled on the stair, despite the grace I was supposed to posses as this seductive creature of the night.

His other hand reached out to me, the one not trapping my fingers on the banister. His touch was just a little warmer than mine– if ice could be considered warm at all– just the very tip of his pinky grazing the exposed skin of my waist.

"Uh…" Was my less than graceful response to the heated passion suddenly evident between us.

I longed to touch him, my body literally curved towards him, the way a flower curled towards the sun.

"Edward…?" I asked, my voice embarrassingly hoarse. He had been staring at me with an unfathomable expression in his eyes.

He tilted his head to the side and leaned forward. I mimicked him, letting my eyes flutter closed. His lips were mere millimeters from my own, his cool breath just a whisper on my lips.

And suddenly he was gone. I flailed in the air for a moment, completely unsupported, before finally catching the railing and balancing myself out.

I looked up angrily to see Edward leaning casually against the wall opposite the staircase, as if we were just talking innocently. Edward widened his eyes at me, both apologetically and as a warning.

Esme strolled around the corner only a moment later, holding a large, white basket. She paused when she saw Edward leaning against the wall across the staircase, seemingly with no purpose.

Her eyes darted back to me, standing awkwardly by the railing, unknowingly peeling little splinters from the side; I stopped as soon as I realized what I was doing.

"Hello, Esme!" I smiled warmly.

"Good morning, Bella– or should I say afternoon?" She smiled, attempting to hide her confusion.

Edward stared at the ground, but I could tell he was listening to her thoughts, no matter how much he had told me he hated eavesdropping.

"So, what were you two up to?" Esme asked.

I shrugged, smiling tightly to keep myself from biting my lip– a nervous habit. I caught Edward's eye and grinned, a little game forming in my mind.

"Well, Edward and I…"

"You mean, just you," Edward broke in, looking nervous.

I smiled at him indulgently, like he was a precious grandson. "Of course." I turned back to Esme. "Edward and I were just having a casual conversation when I suddenly decided to fall of my own accord, of course, because falling is something that truly brings me joy."

Esme looked genuinely worried, which made me feel guilty… for a moment. The look of pure exasperation on Edward's face was worth it, though.

"You must have fallen a lot when you were a human," Esme guessed, flustered.

That brought a wholehearted laugh from me and Edward, who I had told about my extreme clumsiness as a human, and all the stories I could remember.

Esme looked baffled as we laughed.

"I was very clumsy as a human," I explained. "I would trip on the flattest of surfaces. Not only that, but I was always attracting all sorts of trouble. Bad luck, for sure," I added, pointing to myself as if it was something to be proud of. Esme smiled slowly, but for some reason it did not seem as though she was smiling at my story. Her eyes continued to shoot from Edward to me, and back. I tried to keep the smile on my own face, but Edward was beginning to lose his calm. It was probably extremely difficult to hear the suspicion in his mother's head and not tell her the truth.

"I was thinking about going to the market this morning…," I broke in the awkward silence.

Edward blinked at me, surprised. "Are you sure you want to go so early?"

"Maybe… I haven't really had a chance to learn any control. I mean, drinking animal blood and living in a house in the middle of a forest is really different from walking into New York City at night."

"You're not planning on going back to New York City, are you?" Esme asked, sounding distressed.

"Not yet, but I do love New York… I was hoping we might go there sometime."

Edward caught the 'we' I threw in there. Esme, it seemed, did not.

She flipped the white basket upside down in her hands, then back, anxiously. "Well, I suppose I should go wash the clothing. Do you have anything you need washed, Bella?"

I shook my head vigorously, even though I did. "No, no Esme. You don't need to do that for me– you've already done enough!"

She ignored my protests. "I noticed your shirt was covered in blood when we went hunting so you can just come drop that off to me whenever you get the chance. It seems Carmen doesn't much like doing the laundry, so all their clothing is dirty, dirty, dirty." Esme shook her head, rolling her eyes with a smile.

She turned to leave. Halfway up the stairs, she twisted around to see me. "And be careful at the market, Bella. I don't want you getting discouraged if you can't handle it." She shifted her gaze to Edward, her eyes narrowed the tiniest bit. "I wouldn't be surprised if Edward had a hard time too."

"What did she mean, you would have a hard time controlling yourself?" I asked Edward as we strolled down the long, curving drive, towards the market.

I felt suffocated in what seemed to be a burlap trench coat. My body was uncomfortable without my keen sense of touch. The only thing I felt was the thick potato sack of a coat wrapped around my body. I had almost escaped Irina– who had taken the liberty to dress me in appropriate winter clothing– when she noticed my ankles were showing.

"You'll get sick if you don't cover those up." She had tut-tuted with a completely straight face, and then had forced me into a pair of scratchy stockings made of a cheap material. If that was not enough, she had thrown a pair of gloves at me and pushed me rudely out the door into the melting snow.

"Sorry, what was that?" Edward seemed to have been lost in thought.

I groaned, turning away from him and walking faster.

He caught up with me easily. "I'm sorry," he whispered in my ear, unintentionally seductive. It sent chills down my body.

His hand found my own, but all I felt was a light squeeze. I could not even feel his smooth skin through the thick gloves!

"Ugh!" I cried in sudden frustration and pulled off my gloves, pushing them into my pocket. I stopped walking and began unwrapping the woolen scarf from where it hand been draped around my neck, tighter than a boa-constrictor. I discarded the scarf on the ground, where it became quickly damp in the snow, then began unbuttoning my coat.

"What are you doing?" Edward asked, his voice strange. His eyes were on my fingers, fumbling with the buttons.

"I'm taking these silly clothes off!" I exclaimed, unbuttoning the last button and ripping the coat off. I reveled in the feel of the wind on my bare arms and chest.

"Bella," Edward groaned, watching me with an expression as strange as the tone of his voice.

I looked down, only to realize I was wearing just a thin, lacy undershirt that left little to the imagination. "Oops…," I whispered, suddenly embarrassed.

I tugged my coat on super-speed and redid all the buttons faster than it had taken to undo them.

"Happy now?" Edward asked, pulling his own coat tighter around his waist; I could only imagine why.

I nodded, still too embarrassed to speak. I picked my scarf up, but stuffed it in my pocket. I would wear my coat, but I refused to wrap that rag around my neck. Edward and I walked for a long time in silence, and he slowly began to relax. It felt like it took forever to reach the end of the drive, which (with vampire speed) I could have reached within seconds. Though normally this might have annoyed me, walking beside Edward, despite my embarrassment, was oddly comforting.

I angled myself a little closer to him, tingles running across my skin when our arms brushed, even through the thick coat sleeves. His bare fingers grazed mine, and my stomach jumped.

I looked up at him, wondering if he had meant to do that, but he stared straight ahead. I kept walking, pretending my stomach was not spinning.

The next time our fingers brushed, his reached out and hooked around mine. We both watched straight ahead unblinkingly, as though nothing had happened, our hands swinging softly together as we walked.

Then we were at the end of the drive and the forest was like an archway overhead, the road passing right through the trees, but the branches above us curving as if to shield us from the sun.

Right before we made it out of the secluded circle I had stayed in for so long, out into the world of humans and blood, Edward stopped me.

We stood under the canopy, the leaves overhead illuminated by the sun on their other side, the soothing sounds of nature surrounding us, and I could not help but think of how romantic this was.

"Are you sure you want to go out there?" he asked.

"Why wouldn't I? I've come this far haven't I?"

Edward glanced at the house, only seconds away. "Your world must be small if this seems far for you." He grinned.

"Har-har-har." I rolled my eyes. "I've come to Alaska, all the way from New York, all the way from Italy, and before that from England…. I've come here with you. I've come to learn how to save humans– from myself. I'm doing this for my mother, and for you, and for Esme, and maybe Kate too, if she wasn't so annoying sometimes."

Edward laughed, but then his eyes met mine, liquid gold and melted honey. His hand slipped from my own and his fingers found my waist, his other hand following curve of my spine to rest on the back of my neck.

I closed my eyes and tilted my head up until I felt his soft lips graze my own. I sighed, my hands sliding up his chest, barely noticing how scratchy his coat was, and slipping around his neck. He pulled me closer, his arm wrapping around my waist and the hand around my neck running through my hair. His lips moved against mine softly, sensually, passionately.

I pressed myself closer to him and ran my hands through his hair, loving the feeling of his silken bronze locks beneath my fingers. I protested as his lips left mine for only a moment, and the winter breeze touched on them, making me pout and shiver exaggeratedly. But something moist was on my neck, right below my jaw. His lips pressed kisses to the skin of my throat, and I leaned back in his arms and tilted my head to give him more space. His tongue darted out and traced circles, following the curve of my neck until he reached the hollow at the base of my throat.

I sighed blissfully, wishing I could run my hands over his muscular arms, but the winter clothing kept me from doing so. Edward pressed a final kiss to my throat and pulled away. His eyes still smoldered, but he kept his body away from mine, controlling himself. I wished he was not always such a gentleman.

"Edward…," I pleaded, pressing myself closer to him.

He groaned and pulled away, with obvious difficulty. "You don't want me to get carried away, lo– Bella-dear." He stumbled over his words for a moment. I was sure he had been about to call me something else.

I pushed it from my mind though and gave up my tempting. I did not want to get carried away either. Already, what we were doing was fairly inappropriate. We were not even married, yet. Yet…

Chapter 18: The Market

I sighed resignedly and pulled myself away from Edward, slipping my hands into my pockets to keep from doing something drastic.

"We might as well get this over with then," I suggested.

Edward stared at me long and hard, assessing me until I felt hot and uncomfortable (not literally) under his sharp gaze.

"Edward?" I raised an eyebrow.

He shook his head, coming back from where he had been lost in his thoughts. "You don't have to do this if you don't want to," he said again.

I rolled my eyes. "But I want to. I'm just dreading it." He cocked his head, confused.

"You've never felt like that before?" He shook his head, so I attempted to explain, "It's sort of like…" I looked around, trying to think of a good example. A black bird soared overhead, reminding me of those awkward airplanes. Less than a decade ago, the planes had seemed to be making their shaky flights through the sky always, day and night. I recalled vaguely hearing people talk about a war. The Great War, I believed they called it. "Have you ever wanted to join the army?" I asked, turning to Edward suddenly, just as he had opened his mouth to awake me from my thoughts.

He paused for a moment, closing his mouth slowly and mulling it over. I knew he was slipping back into his old thoughts, the recollections of his human life.

"Yes," he answered quietly.

"It's like that, then," I declared triumphantly.

"Wait… your need to go to the market, although you are dreading it immensely, is the same as my desire to join the army, as a human?"

"Exactly!"

He cocked his head cutely, in a gesture that was becoming very familiar. His topaz eyes sparkled with curiosity. "How so?"

"I'm sure that although you wanted to join the army, fight for your country, become a hero, etcetera etcetera… you were frightened at the prospect of dying in war; of never marrying; of never seeing your mother again…"

We stared at each other for a long time. I felt a long-forgotten sadness attempting to sweep over me, plucking at the delicate strings of my long-dead heart. His eyes were glued to my own as though he was trying to look inside me, the unfathomable expression tugging at his brow.

"I know just what you mean," he finally sighed, turning his head away. I caught a glimpse of his expression– resolutely melancholy.

"Yes… it's like that. So, I want to be brave and do what's right and tame the beast—" I chuckled "—but I'm scared at the same time. What if something goes wrong?"

He nodded again, possibly tired of my anxiety-induced chatter. Then he stepped closer and slipped his fingers through mine, and my mouth immediately snapped shut. I tightened my grip on his hand as we began walking, past the last few trees and out into the cold, gray, Alaskan market.

We walked ever closer to the gaggle of crudely built stalls and buildings that made up the market. Suddenly, the scent of freshly blooming flowers filled me, from the crown of my head to the tips of my toes. I inhaled deeply, my throat feeling suddenly dry, and all thoughts slipping from my mind. I need it…

"Bella?" The voice seemed to come from a great distance. It slipped in one ear and out the other. "Bella!" the familiar voice shouted as I took off running.

My other senses were dulled by the ambrosial scent wafting through the air. I ignored the shouts behind me, shaking off the soft touch on my waist and then the tighter grip on my wrist. It took me only a moment to find the source of the smell: a tall, pale man with a tuft of messy white-blond hair.

I slowed my pace as I neared him. His back was to me and he seemed to be squinting at something– or someone– across the narrow walkway. The wind billowed around us, pushing against my back and driving his scent away from me.

For a moment my head cleared. I blinked away the red-hot hunger that had taken me. I turned away from the man and let the wind– slightly colder than my skin– splay across my face, calming me.

"Bella!" Edward called, power walking towards me.

An instant dread swept over me. Would he be angry that I had lost control so easily? If it had not been for the wind, I would have killed the man.

I glanced behind me quickly, and was nearly frightened out of my mind when I saw the man staring back into my eyes with a look of dread, awe, and lust.

I spun right away and walked briskly towards Edward. "Let's go." Grabbing him by the elbow, I marched him right back up the hill and into the forest.

I only stopped once we were safely back in our secluded clearing, the trees closing in behind us. As soon as I knew I was safe, I fell to my knees, suddenly wary– not physically, but mentally.

I let my head drop into my hands, happy to have the thick curtain of hair to hide me from view. I did not hear Edward for a long moment and I was terrified that my previous fears were to be confirmed– he hated me for my weakness.

Then his strong arms were wrapped around me, a smooth hand gently brushing the hair back from my face and locking it behind my ears.

"Bella…," he murmured into my ear, sending chills down my spine.

I shook my head, knowing this was not a time to feel hormonal.

"I'm sorry, Bella."

My head snapped up. "You're sorry?" He nodded solemnly. "Why are you sorry? I'm the one that should be sorry." I paused for a moment, taking a deep breath. "I'm sorry."

"Why are you sorry? And why shouldn't I be sorry?" Edward was just as frustrated as I was.

"You shouldn't be sorry," I began, "because you did nothing."

"Exactly," Edward groaned. "I should have done something– anything, but it was so sudden and I could hardly go running after you and I think maybe you used your power and took my strength, because I felt like I was going at a snail's pace. I'm sorry I didn't save you."

"Save me from what– myself?"

"I think you're the person who puts you in the most danger."

"This is confusing," I groaned, letting my head fall back into my hands.

Edward was quiet, letting me brood in silence. Even the light weight of his hand on my back was barely a comfort.

I had let him down. I had let Esme down. I had let Kate down. I had let Irina down. Basically, I had let everyone in my small, yet large, world down. I was a monster. I had almost killed a man. A man! He must have had a family. Maybe he had been watching his wife, perhaps she was the thing he had been squinting at.

I could not stop the suddenly gruesome images from running through my mind, as real as daylight: Instead of stopping, I kept going. I stepped right behind the man, my head barely reaching his shoulder. 'Excuse me,' I trilled sweetly.

He turned slowly, his eyes remaining for a moment on the spot he had been staring at. The empty space took the shape of a woman. She wondered who he was speaking to. He gave her a loving look and held up one finger, indicating that he would be over there with his wife and children in just a moment.

Then his eyes met mine and a dazed look took over him. They grew more foggy as they slid down my frame, still attractive even while wrapped tightly in the thick coat even. He breathed deeply, inhaling my seductive scent. I breathed deeper, inhaling his. Oh blood, oh blood, how I love you so…

'Yes?' His voice cracked.

'Come with me,' I commanded softly, looking up at him from beneath my lashes.

He nodded hazily and followed without a single word.

Where is Edward? I thought as I slipped my arms around this man's neck and took him to hell while I went to heaven. He did not scream, only moaned and uttered a few silent words with his last few breaths. Where was Edward?

"Edward?" I lifted my head and the darkness behind my eyelids turn to bright, shattering white light. We were still sitting in a white field of snow, just on the edge of the forest. There was no man. There was no market. There was no blood.

"Are you alright, Bella?" Edward's hands were rubbing my back; I could even feel his fingers through the burly coat.

I realized I was panting and shook my head. "I'm sorry," I mumbled.

"Were you dreaming?" he wondered, looking awed.

I shook my head. "Is that possible?"

He shrugged. "We can't sleep, but that doesn't mean we can't daydream. I think…"

I shook my head again. "I wasn't dreaming. I was just thinking– terrible things. About the man. What if I had killed him? What if– what if– Everyone was counting on me and I let them down."

"No one was counting on you. Everyone's had a drop of human blood. A drop, at least, whether intentional or accidental. You drank human blood before this—"

"Before I knew there was another way! I had no idea you could drink from animals… I thought I would die if I didn't drink blood and I just didn't want to die a—" I broke off awkwardly. I had almost said something extremely embarrassed. I just didn't want to die a virgin.

"Die a…?" Edward pressed.

"Die a… Die. I just didn't want to die," I finished lamely, making it quite clear I had something to hide. And Edward's mind was probably going off in places only a teenage boy's could.

He nodded understandingly, though. "Don't die then. Don't think terrible things then."

"How can I not? I have no control. It's like something takes over my body and I can't help anything I do– terrible things."

Edward slid closer to me, his arm slipping around my shoulders and dragging me to his side. "Then don't think terrible things," he repeated.

I let myself melt into him. Something tickled my chin. At first I thought it was his fingers, but then I saw a large, fluffy brown ball of fur.

"A cat!" I cried, leaping to my feet.

"A cat?" Edward stood up slowly, his eyes wary as they watched me expectantly.

I glanced around. Where had the cat gone? Then I caught sight of his coat and the cap attached to the back of it. I doubled over with hysterical laughter.

Edward raised both his eyebrows, utterly bemused. "A cat…?"

I laughed again, pointing to the furry, brown hood on the back of his goat.

He lifted it between his forefinger and thumb, making a face. "I certainly hope this is no cat."

That stopped my laughter instantly. I took hold of my own furry hood, striped gray-black, and squinted at it as if that would tell me whether a poor animal had died for it.

"And I truly hope that's no raccoon, because those are infected with rabies, and who knows if that can turn you into a rabid-thirsty vampire." Edward grinned.

I, on the other hand, was not laughing. I glared at him, pinching the edge of the rabies-infected coat. "I refuse to wear this thing!" I began unbuttoning it.

"What's that they say? It's a common saying really… um… déjà vu!" he cried enthusiastically.

I paused in the act of unbuttoning my coat, remembering our eventful walk to the market– and ignoring the sting the word 'market' gave me. "Oops…"

"Definitely déjà vu."

I left my coat unbuttoned, but kept it on, smiling at him shyly. Edward folded himself back on the ground. "Now, where were we?" He grinned coyly as he slipped his fingers into my own and forced me onto the ground with him. The snow seeped through my clothing, quickly dampening the tights and making them utterly unusable again.

I sighed, leaning against Edward, running my fingers back and forth across the front of his coat. I began to play with his buttons and before I knew it, they were undone. He wore a thin, black button-down shirt, the color clashing beautifully with his pale skin. I needed to touch him.

I leaned closer and pressed my lips against the base of his throat, as he had done to me earlier that morning. He sighed softly and pulled me closer, so that nearly half my body was on his chest. I continued to work my way up his neck, enjoying the marble-smooth feel, the flowery taste, and the overall masculinity, obvious from the muscles beneath my fingers.

I pressed chaste kisses all the way up to his jawline, then traced his angular jaw with the tip of my nose, inhaling. He groaned and shifted, pulling me ever closer.

I grinned and, as I longed to do, captured his lips with mine. Our mouths moved slowly against each other, and then it became more urgent. His hand slipped behind my head, pressing my lips to his, gluing me to him. I opened my mouth to take a quick and unneeded breath, and breathed his scent; it made me dizzy.

I want you… In a brave move, I traced his bottom lip with my tongue. It was smooth, as if it had been polished and the taste was heavenly. He groaned, returning the favor by tracing my lips with his own tongue.

One of his hands was twisted in my hair, but I felt the other slide, ever so gently, down my back. When he reached my waist, he pushed beneath the coat– which I was so glad I had opened– and I could feel his fingers perfectly on my stomach through the sheer undershirt.

His lips never left mine as his nimble fingers danced across my skin, playing wicked games with me. I gasped as they slipped ever lower, just the edge of a finger beneath the band of my skirt…

Chapter 19: Irina

"Sorry…," Edward mumbled against my lips, pulling away slightly.

I felt disappointed when his fingers left my skin and he turned his body so I slid off his side. "No, that's not it—" I attempted to explain, realizing he thought I was gasping in surprise, or disgust, or shock, instead of in pleasure.

"—I know." He quieted me with his lips, a quick peck which I instantly deepened. His gentlemanliness was becoming increasingly annoying as he pulled away again, before I could get carried away.

"Nevertheless," he continued, apparently still able to form coherent sentences (whereas I was barely able to understand him, my hormones running rampant), "I don't want us to get carried away."

I smirked at him and leaned close until our lips were centimeters apart; his eyes fluttered closed, his head tilting forward expectantly. I licked his lower lip slowly, savoring the sensational flavor, then pulled away and slipped off him to sit by his side.

He opened his eyes slowly and blinked confusedly for a moment. His glance finally shifted my way and he frowned, puzzled. My grin widened despite my attempts at holding it in. I gave up and shot him a gleaming smile.

"I love playing games with you."

He rolled his eyes, groaning as he sat up. "And I hate it." Then he brightened. "Let's play another game!"

I raised an eyebrow. "What kind of game?"

"The kind where we go back home and pretend we did not just experience the hottest moment of our cold, hard lives."

Cold…hard: I hid a smile. "It sounds like a boring game."

"You can think of it as a Role Playing Game," Edward suggested, shrugging.

I instantly tilted my head and let a thin curtain of hair fall between us, trying to make it look nonchalant, while hiding my guilty expression.

Role Playing Game. When I was a hormonal teenager, my equally hormonal teenage friends– all girls, of course– would sequester ourselves away and whisper about boys and marriage, and dirty things we would never get caught dead saying in front of our parents. A role-playing-game to me had only sexual significance.

My thoughts immediately soared to a dark fantasy of mine, one I was sure I had before I had even met Edward, but now the faceless man suddenly bore Edward's remarkable features.

Edward was sitting before me in a flash, lifting my chin up and forcing me to look into his piercing eyes. "You're hiding something." He smirked, as I attempted to pull away before I blurt out the exact fantasy and mortified myself for the rest of my existence.

I huffed. "And so are you."

"Who?"

"You."

"When?"

"This morning."

"What?"

I laughed. "What is this, an interrogation?"

"Why?" Edward grinned.

"Where? How? Whodunit?" I shot.

Edward chuckled and leaned his back against a tree trunk with a contented sigh. "I read Agatha Christie back when she published her first book."

"Agatha Christie?" I felt somewhat silly asking. No doubt she was a well known author. I hated admitting I had given up reading after I had been changed. Although the idea of a bloodthirsty vampire walking into a book store and asking for a novel was laughable indeed, apparently Edward had done it.

"She also goes by Mary Westmacott, but none of those are published under that name yet– they're romances."

I smirked at him. "You read romance novels?"

"No!" Edward objected defensively. "She's an amazing mystery novel author. You know, crime fiction, detective mysteries, whodunit?"

"Oh…." I felt sillier by the moment.

"But," Edward continued softly, his hand resting lightly on my knee, "she's not particularly famous and I wouldn't expect anyone to be able to recognize her right away, if at all."

I knew he was only saying it to make me feel better, but it helped nonetheless. I smiled at him warmly and leaned over to kiss him lightly in the juncture between his neck and his jaw.

"Time to go!" I exclaimed, pulling away before he could kiss me back.

He groaned and muttered something that sounded a lot like 'tease'. I only beamed at him and then pranced out of the shadow of the trees and made my way quickly across the plain of snow, glancing back just once to make sure he was still there.

He caught my eye and gave me a breathtaking smile, his trademark crooked grin, and I felt something unfamiliar course through me that was both exciting and frightening.

By the time we arrived back at the house, everyone was there. I paused in the foyer and adjusted my clothing. My brand new skirt was sopping wet and the tights Irina had given me were beyond use. I slipped them off and balled them up in my hand.

"May I take your coat?" The smooth, velvety whisper in my ear made me jump.

I glared at Edward. "If you don't kill me first, then yes, you may take my coat."

"Good thing you're already dead then."

And coming from his lips, the normally gruesome remark only made my stomach twinkle the same way his eyes were.

I slipped off my coat and handed it to him.

"You might want to put a shirt on," he suggested, his voice light, but his eyes tight. He kept them resolutely on my face and again I marveled at his ability to be in complete control. Most men– or vampires– would make some sort of lewd remark and try to ravish me… or something of the sort.

I stared at the ground embarrassedly and hoped my long hair would cover… certain areas that needed covering.

"Yes, well… I'll go take a shower. I feel sort of disgusting. I haven't washed in forever."

"Good luck."

I laughed a little too loudly. "Good luck?" I rolled my eyes. "Tell the others I'll be down in just a moment."

Edward saluted, issuing another fountain of giggles from me. I stepped away from him and turned to head up the stairs regretfully. Any moment away from Edward seemed like a moment wasted. What was better than speaking to him about Agatha Christie, whether I knew of her or not? Just hearing his beautiful voice, looking into his gorgeous eyes, and seeing myself reflected in them… it was more than enough to make me want to run back downstairs and throw myself at him.

I sighed. I would have to control that particular feeling.

Edward and I were made for each other, I decided as I pulled my last shirt from my bag– a plain black button down like Edward was wearing today– and a skirt– a sheer, white knee-length skirt that would surely be dirty within hours at the pace I was going– and headed for the bathroom.

I stared at myself in the mirror for a moment, wondering what Edward saw when he looked at me. Did he see the plump, red lips; the shimmering topaz eyes, growing darker around the edges as the day progressed; the tumble of glossy mahogany hair despite the day and nights spent in the wild?

Or did he see something else entirely, as I saw in him? Sure, I noticed the gorgeous features; the angular and manly jawline; the fantastic set of muscles; the spectacular eyes, always smoldering at me.

But I also saw the boy he was before, at least as far as I knew. I saw the young boy who vowed he would always be there to take care of his mother while his father was out on business. The boy who lived with a coven of people but was so alone; the boy who could never sleep and lay in bed reading mystery novels to pass the time.

I thought of Edward through my entire shower, barely noticing that the water was freezing– it didn't matter to me either way. I shampooed my hair, sad to wash off Edward's scent. I lathered soap over my arms, legs, and stomach, and wondered what Edward's hands would feel like…There was a knock on the door of my bedroom; I could hear it all the way from the bathroom. I realized I had been so lost in my fantasies, I had taken a much longer time in the restroom than I needed.

I rinsed myself off, dried my hair quickly, slipped into my skirt, buttoned my blouse with ease, and rushed to the door before half a minute had gone by.

"Yes?" I asked breathlessly as I opened the door– breathless in the figurative sense, if there was one.

I was somewhat disappointed to see Irina on the other side, instead of Edward, who I had been expecting.

She noticed my fallen expression before I could fake a smile. I was happy to see her, but she could not compare to my bronze-haired Romeo.

Irina rolled her eyes as she stepped into the room, a smirk playing on her lips. "Expecting your prince charming?"

My eyes widened when I realized she knew about Edward and I. I bit my lip and swept my eyes over her face cautiously.

"Don't worry, I won't tell." She rolled her eyes again, still smiling.

I kept myself from sighing with relief. "So, Kate told you?" I was already thinking of ways to harm Kate.

Irina pouted. "You don't think I'm smart enough to figure it out myself?"

"No, I—"

"I mean first, Tanya hasn't been home all day, and I would expect her to be here attempting to seduce Edward—" I flinched "—and you smell like him… or at least you did, but you've washed away the evidence, so that obviously wouldn't hold up in a court of law."

I felt my eyes widen. "A court of what?"

"Law." Irina's laugh was like a loud chorus of bells. "And I was joking. There's no need to be so… uptight." She nudged me with her shoulder– hard. "Oh! And—"

"There's more?" I groaned.

"And it's hard not to see it in the way he looks at you."

I cocked my head, my stomach knotting at the hopeful thoughts running through my head. "How does he look at me?"

Irina held up her hands defensively. "Oh no, no, no… I'm not getting into this gushy stuff here. That's Kate's place of expertise, not mine. I'm just here to brag about the fact that I am an extremely observant person."

I was beginning to realize how blunt Irina was. I certainly hoped I would never find myself on her bad side. I felt like she could do a great deal of ego damaging.

I sighed, feeling suddenly mentally exhausted. "I couldn't make it to the market today," I explained in answer to Irina's look of confusion.

She smiled. "Is that all?"

I felt unexpectedly angry. "It's enough, isn't it? What– did you want me to do more? Should I have killed him– would that have made you happy?" I hissed in one breath. As soon as the words left my mouth, I clamped it shut.

Irina was staring at me with raised eyebrows, looking expectant. "Are you done yet, or would you like to go on a full rant." I shook my head. She waited a moment, then continued. "It doesn't surprise me that you didn't make it all the way through— and don't say that you disappointed anyone, because no one expected you to."

It was as though she could read my mind. "And I thought Edward was the mindreader," I said aloud and in wonder.

Irina laughed. "Well, you know… I try. I was fairly observant as a human, and you're just an easy person to read."

I frowned, unsure whether it was good or bad.

"Be happy, Bella. Edward might be able to guess what you're thinking, but he certainly can't hear it." And with those final words, Irina pranced out of my room, leaving nothing to show she had ever been there except my confusion.

A minute later, I stepped into the living room to see it half-full.

"Where did everyone go?" I asked Esme as I took a seat beside her. I longed to sit by Edward, but who knew how long I would be able to control myself around him, and we were still playing the not-dating-but-really-are-game, as far as I knew.

"Tanya went hunting, and Irina and Kate are most likely giggling about something upstairs. They act like such teenage girls, though they're well over 200." Esme laughed.

I smiled, secretly agreeing, and gazed about the room. Carlisle and Eleazar sat on the long sofa, discussing something that sounded a lot like boring politics. Carmen looked like she was interrogating Edward, and for one moment he glanced over her shoulder and shot me a desperate look. I laughed. Esme smiled when she heard me laughing and I saw her staring in Edward's direction with a faraway look in her eye.

"Do you know that Edward walked me down the aisle at my wedding?" she said suddenly.

I was surprised. "Really?"

She nodded, her eyes glittering, lost in another world. "Yes. Carlisle and I were married less than a year after I was changed. We'd known each other from when we were human."

"Really?" This time I was even more surprised. "How did you manage to do that?"

"It was fate, really. I believe everyone has a perfect match, someone they're just meant to be with. And for Carlisle and I, it was so destined." She smiled at me endearingly.

"I fell out of a tree when I was sixteen and broke my leg. Carlisle worked at the hospital and that was when I first fell in love. I barely knew him then– in fact, I only spoke to him for the first time then, and goodness was I a terribly rebellious child, and so blunt…."

She shook her head, chuckling softly. Her mood darkened the slightest bit as she continued. "I was married off to a terrible man. I can hardly say his name, so I won't, but he abused me. When I found out I was with child, I ran off. The baby… the baby died…"

Her expression grew somber and she was quiet for a long, long time. I wrapped my arm around her shoulders and leaned into her, hoping it was a soothing gesture– the human motions were hard to get used to.

I saw Carlisle glance over. He had eyes for no one but his wife. They exchanged a meaningful look, and the way he looked at her made my soul ache– if I still had one– for someone to look at me that way.

Esme recovered after a moment. She gave me a wavering smile. "I jumped off a cliff."

"Oh, goodness gracious!" I exclaimed in utter shock, unsure of how to react to this. She, though, was very at ease. "Don't be worried, darling. It was a natural thing… well, it brought me happiness at the end. As fate would have it, Carlisle was the doctor working at the hospital where I was brought. He recognized me and since I was beyond saving, he changed me."

I was silent for a long time, mulling over what Esme had just told me. It was a beautiful story, probably beating every love story I had ever read as a young girl, or imagined.

I smiled at her warmly, feeling my heart swell at her joy. "It sounds like a very happy ending," I said truthfully, just as a shadow fell across us.

Esme smiled at me widely before leaning forward and giving me a peck on the cheek. "Well, I'll let you get back to your Edward." She stood up and floated to Carlisle and together they made their way upstairs.

Carmen moved to sit beside Eleazar and they cuddled together on the couch. Even after hundreds of years together, they were still as in love as ever. It was moving.

Gradually, as I looked up into Edward's glimmering golden eyes, Esme's words came back to me: 'Well, I'll let you get back to your Edward.' Your Edward.

If only, if only… I thought wishfully, slowly realizing how much I wished it were true.

"If only what?" Edward asked, breaking me from my thoughts.

My eyes nearly fell out of my head. "Did I say that out loud?" He nodded. I cursed.

Carmen peeked at me from under Eleazar's arm. "Is something wrong, dear?"

I bit my lip, embarrassed that they had heard me saying such unladylike things. "Oh, nothing, nothing at all…" I turned to Edward. "Let's go outside, good-friend."

He attempted to suppress a smile. "All right, old chap."

We made our way out into the starry night. The wind blew softly, caressing my skin smoothly. Crickets chirped off in the distance and I heard an owl hoot every now and then. The sounds of nature were so relaxing.

We padded across the mucky snow, my shoes turning to portable puddles. I wondered why I wore them anyways.

"I love it here," Edward said suddenly, stretching his arm out to point at something. I ran into it.

He laughed and dropped his fingers to my shoulder. They trickled down my arm like water and then slipped into my own. He lifted our joined hands, pointing in the direction of a large, flat-topped boulder sitting near the edge of the house, under the shadow of the jutting roof.

"It's lovely," I said in awe. And it was. The large white rock reflected the moonlight, shining as white as snow, though it had no snow on it. It shimmered as we moved closer, and at first I thought it was the glow of the moon or the wetness of melted snow; instead, it was tiny, powdery pieces of rock, or diamond, or some small solid substance embedded into every bit of the rock, that glimmered when light hit it. "Gorgeous."

"It's not particularly secretive, being so close to the house, but it's a perfect place to watch the stars," Edward explained.

"I think it's perfect." I smiled softly, my eyes still on the glittering pieces of rock that reminded me so much of Edward.

The rock was at least four feet high, but we jumped it easily. Edward lay down flat on his back and pat the space beside him, scooting to make room.

I folded myself next to him, still sitting up so that I could watch him. He caught me staring after a moment and a smile pulled up the corners of his florid lips. He took my hand and tugged me until I was pressed against his side.

"So, what did you mean when you said 'If only, if only'?"

"Nothing!" I was such a terrible liar.

Edward chuckled. "I'll tell you what I was thinking about this morning if you tell me what you were talking about."

"You'll tell me why you were grinning like a crazed man?"

"If you tell me your secret."

I mulled it over. I was immensely curious about what Edward had to say, but what I would say would change everything. Maybe change is good…

"Okay," I decided.

Chapter 20: Confessions

"You first—" we said at the same time.

We stared at each other through narrowed eyes for a long time, attempting to keep straight faces. Edward caved first, a beautiful smile illuminating his angular features.

"Okay, I'll go first." He sighed.

It was silent, nothing but the trees rustling in the wind and the crickets chirping off in the distance.

"Any day now…" I urged.

Edward chuckled quietly, but there was an edge to the musical sound, like a note played wrong.

"What is it?" I asked softly, automatically leaning closer.

Edward's eyes snapped up to mine, shimmering liquid gold, melted to perfection, but there was something in them that I could not place– a strange expression. His lips were suddenly on mine and I was aware of the comforting feel of his entire body pressing mine to the rock. His lips ravished mine and, although I was surprised at first, I quickly responded, slipping my fingers into his silky hair and arching my back from the hard rock to press myself closer to him.

He groaned, one hand sliding to pillow my head and the other tracing erratic shapes on the sliver of bare skin on my stomach. This time he took initiative and opened his mouth wider, running his tongue over my flushed lips. I gasped at the feeling and a thick whiff of his scent made me dizzy and… hungry. It was a much different hunger than the hunger for warm, human blood, different than the thirst. It was different from anything I had felt before– only Edward could push me to feel this.

He had been holding himself up with his forearms, but when I opened my mouth to him and our tongues began their complicated dance, his arms shook and he finally let his entire weight press down on me, distributing it slowly. I could feel every inch of his body against mine. A pleased mortification overtook me at the newly discovered, and thoroughly manly, part of him.

"Edward…" I sighed against his lips, the hunger inside me swelling. Edward pressed his hips flush against mine, letting me know I was not the only one desiring more. We both sighed into each others mouths, my body arching towards him again. A new feeling rose inside me, feeding the hunger; tingles ran from deep in my stomach, through the strands of my hair and down to the tip of my toes.

"Bella…" He breathed my name softly, shocking me by separating his lips from mine and rolling off me. I stared wide-eyed at the stars for a moment, my body heaving, just his touch having made me unnecessarily breathless. A frown dented my brows. Why had he pulled away? Had I done something wrong?

I turned on my side to face him. He was laying flat on his back, his breathing as irregular as mine. His eyes were closed, but they fluttered open when he felt me watching him.

He smiled roguishly, his eyes sparkling, and I knew he had not pulled away because of me, but for me. I marveled again at his self control.

"Sorry." He grinned, not seeming too sorry. I had to look away before I was seduced by his all too telling eyes.

It was hard to think; my mind kept wandering back to the way his lips felt caressing mine, the very Edwardly way in which he kept his body weight from pressing against me until his arms had given way, and the delicious fireworks between us.

"What are you thinking?" he asked, frowning.

I smiled, appreciating the particularly lucky aspect of our relationship– my ability to block off my mind. "Guess."

His face scrunched up in a very child-like expression. "I hate guessing."

"I can't imagine why." I smirked.

"Are you wondering why I wouldn't keep… pleasuring you?" The way he said 'pleasuring' sent chills down my spine.

I shook my head vehemently, hiding my slavish expression. "Don't flatter yourself."

"Are you wondering what I was smiling about this morning?"

I laughed guiltily. I had completely forgotten about the tell-the-truth deal we had made. "No… I'm more wondering why you kissed me— not that I mind."

His smile widened. He leaned forward and, before I could dodge him (for the sake of my sanity), his lips just barely brushed mine. I instinctively angled myself towards his touch, but he had already pulled away. His lips hung over the sensitive skin of my neck. His steady breaths unfurled me so much that when he finally kissed my neck, sucking on the skin, the feeling intensified tenfold.

And just like before, he pulled away just as the pleasure began.

I glared at him. "And what was that?"

He only pressed his lips to my ear and whispered, "Did you feel it?"

I sucked in a breath: his voice was velvety but husky.

"Feel w-what?" My stammer embarrassed me, but he did not seem to take notice.

His fingers trailed my side, just grazing the side of my breast. I shivered. I knew what he was talking about.

"Yes," I whispered.

He leaned back and smiled. I missed his touch already.

"Just wondering." He shrugged carelessly, as if nothing momentous had just occurred.

"What do you mean you were 'just wondering'?" I glared. Did it really not mean anything to him?

His eyes met mine, smiling, and his fingers twined around my own. "I was just making sure you felt it."

I rested my head on his shoulder, my too-quick breaths caressing his neck. "I definitely felt it." If 'it' was the sexual frustration.

"I didn't want to tell you what I was thinking this morning if you didn't feel the same way. Being with you makes me feel so whole… so human. It's as if everything I lost in my change has been brought back when I'm with you."

The sincerity in his voice was touching. I pressed myself closer to him, waiting for him to continue and becoming ever more curious about these cryptic thoughts of his.

"Remember when you showed me your bare leg and said the humans would be suspicious about you wearing a skirt while standing in the snow?" I nodded, recalling the moment perfectly, though my details had more to do with Edward and his crooked smile.

I raised an eyebrow and stuck out a bare leg. "It's snowy here."

He stared at my leg for far too long, then met my eyes, grinning like a Cheshire cat.

"What?" I demanded, suddenly feeling self conscious. I pulled my leg back and tucked it behind me, as if I could hide it from view.

He continued to smirk, a wicked look in his eye.

"What?

"Well," Edward continued, breaking me from my thoughts. "I was just thinking…"

"Yes?"

"…that you wouldn't need to worry about humans seeing you bare-legged in the snow if you just took all your clothes off." He refused to meet my eyes.

I frowned, confused. "What do you mean?" I asked slowly.

"I mean that you're just so pale you would blend right in with the snow."

"But what does that have to do with that eccentric smile of yours? I thought it might be something better than that." His confession was a bit of a disappointment.

He gave me a look that clearly said I was unbelievable. "Don't you understand? I imagined you lying in the snow with no clothes on."

Oh… that. I laughed nervously. "I suppose I didn't understand, then. Now I do." The thought of Edward picturing me naked sent a torrent of butterflies to my stomach.

"And then when you started taking your clothes off on the way to the market—" He groaned. "That drove me crazy."

I simply stared at him, at a loss for words.

"Don't you see what you do to me?" he asked, suddenly turning to look at me, his topaz eyes smoldering.

I shook my head, mouth agape.

"You make it so hard for me to think. When I'm with you, I start feeling all these things I haven't felt since I was… since ever. Not even when I was a human could a woman do to me what you do."

A smile began to work its way across my lips, without my consent. Before I knew it, I was beaming at him, unable to push my lips back over my gleaming teeth.

It was Edward's turn to be confused. "Are you alright?"

I nodded, smiling widely. "Never better."

"So you're not going to leave? You don't think I'm crazy for feeling this way? You're not disturbed by these thoughts of mine?" He was disbelieving.

I was so elated, but unable to explain why. Perhaps it was the fact that I was not the only one having inappropriate thoughts and now I knew it. Or maybe it was because of Edward's genuine confession.

The feeling of happiness inflated inside my chest and, desperate to take the disbelieving expression off his face, I tackled Edward. We both fell back on the rock and the momentum rolled us over on our sides.

Edward was smiling now and I knew the grin had never left my face.

"Of course I'm not leaving you. I won't tell you what I've been thinking about you, but I promise it's just as indecent as your thoughts," I revealed.

"That's wonderful to know." And I knew Edward truly meant it.

His arm encircled my waist and my hands pressed against his chest, now free of his coat as it was dark. I could feel every muscle beneath my fingers and I had to force myself not to unbutton his shirt and run my hands over his chest.

"Now it's your turn," Edward mumbled, his face buried in my hair.

"Hmm…?" I was imagining the silky smoothness of Edward's skin beneath my fingers.

"You never told me what you were thinking when you said 'if only, if only.'"

Damn his amazing memory… "Oh, it was nothing."

Edward lifted his head, gazing into my eyes cockily. "Try me."

I'd love to. I sighed. "Fine. You must not have heard what Esme said—"

"—'Well, I'll let you get back to your Edward.'" His voice was perfectly matched to Esme's, velvety and sweet, albeit much deeper.

I blinked, surprised. "Yes, well… that's it."

"What is?" he asked innocently, though I had reason to believe he already knew what I meant.

I rolled my eyes and sighed deeply. "I was just thinking that it would be wonderful if you really were 'My Edward'. Happy?"

"Immensely."

And as I moved closer I could feel just how happy he really was. It made me flustered to know the affect I was having on him. I shifted this way and that, attempting to act inconspicuous.

Edward's deep chuckle broke my awkward moving, an edge to his voice. "You might want to stay still, Bella. You moving around like that isn't making this any easier."

My next breath caught in my throat as I gazed up into his fiery golden eyes.

"I love you." The words tumbled from my lips before I had even a chance to realize they were coming. I gaped at him, wide-eyed, shocked that I had let those dreaded words slip.

Edward did not break our gaze and it suddenly became a staring contest to me. It was as if we were frozen in this moment of time after my outburst and if I blinked it would all come crashing down.

While we sat staring at each other, despite my fear of what Edward would say, I felt extremely calm. It was not the unnerving kind of calm, either; there was a perfect peacefulness surrounding us.

The wind blew. The snow danced. The stars twinkled. The moon glowed. And as I gazed fearfully into Edward's eyes, I saw something in them that set me free from this frozen state. A silent sigh escaped me, because with those melting honey eyes, he looked at me the same way I looked at him: with love.

Chapter 21: Leaving

"I love you, too," Edward whispered, his eyes soft. Icy fingers trailed my cheek and tilted my chin, guiding my lips to his.

Two days dissolved quickly. I seemed to be moving through them in a dreamlike state. My mind was always focused on Edward and I felt like he was quickly becoming more a part of me than I had anticipated.

It seemed that everyone in the family was suspicious, and they had good reason to be. For long hours of the day Edward and I would sit in the forest on the edges of the market with the excuse of learning to control our thirsts.

We did attempt to become stronger against the scent of human blood, but much of this time was spent kissing beneath the snow-covered trees and occasionally talking about literature, a favorite subject of mine when I was human.

On the third day– the day Edward told me our problems with Tanya would be resolved– she came at me like a whirlwind.

I had been in my room, having just returned from a long night of running with Edward. He was such a fast runner, and I would never admit it to him, but sometimes I caught myself stealing some of his strength and speeding ahead of him, just so I could cheer him up later with a long, deep kiss.

We had circled the forest multiple times before drinking from the few animals that ventured out into the Alaskan cold.

"Go get dressed, today is the day." Edward had walked me to my room and stood just past the threshold, too kind to step in without my permission.

"The day?"

"Remember our first kiss?" Edward asked, his eyes brightening.

"How could I forget?" I thought back to the first, awkward moment when our lips had touched. I shook my head, breaking myself from the thoughts. "But what does that have to– oh…"

"You remember now?"

nodded, recalling Edward flaunting one of his many secrets, this one about Tanya:

"But we don't need to worry about her for much longer," Edward said, completely certain.

I frowned. "How do you know?"

"You'll find out later. All you have to do is get through the rest of this week."

"You're finally going to tell me?" I bounced on my toes, the excitement of yet another secret energizing me. Lately, revealing secrets had been immensely satisfying– for both of us.

He pat me on the head, eliciting an indignant growl, and pushed me inside the room, his hand pressing lightly on the small of my back. Even when he withdrew his fingers, I could feel where he had touched me, as if his fingerprints had been molded into my skin.

"Go get ready," he insisted, beginning to pull the door shut behind me.

I blocked it with my foot. "I'll do that, thank you very much." And I slammed it in his shocked face.

The first thing I did was flop on my untouched bed. The comforters rippled around me for a moment, then fell back into place, like a pebble displacing water. I giggled at the simile in my head, wondering what the best way to describe Edward and I would be. Perhaps he was the tempting prey and I was the predator who could not control my bloodlust. Or he could be a golden jewel pressed into a plain, silver band– that would be me, of course—

And then something slammed into me, sending me flying across the bed and onto the floor on the other side. If it had hit me any harder, I would have gone soaring through the wall.

"Wha—?" I lifted my head, disoriented for a moment. Realizing I was slumped upside down, I flipped myself over, only to feel a sharp pain slice my cheek. My head was forced to the side and collided with the wall behind me. A hole formed, tiny pieces of plaster crumbling, falling into my hair and coating my forehead with dust. I could feel the next slap coming and jumped out of the way just before it hit me.

"Tanya!" I screeched, as her fist crashed into the spot where my head had been only moments before. The dent formed in the wall by my skull opened completely and Tanya's fist disappeared inside.

She yanked it back out with a grunt, turning to find me on the other side of the room. I crossed my arms over my chest and glared at her, daring her to step closer.

She remained still, breathing deeply. Slowly, the wild look in her eyes disappeared and then she stood before me, her shoulders slumped, her right hand curled into a loose fist covered with white powder.

"What's wrong with you?" I whispered, unable to keep the accusation from my voice. One moment I was elated over Edward and the next I was being attacked without reason— well… without immediate reason.

Tanya closed her golden eyes, shaking her head slowly. Her limp hair was tied into a ponytail, an attempt at making it look clean, but it was obviously unwashed. As I peered at her more closely, I could see she was wearing the same clothes she had been wearing since the night I had heard her and Edward talking– the misunderstanding.

"Are you alright?" I asked, suddenly feeling as though I were betraying someone, but who was there to betray? I was simply asking Tanya a question. Yet, the cells of my body told me to hate her, to fight back and give her a good punch. I was betraying my natural instinct– fight, revenge, defense.

She was suddenly furious. Her onyx eyes snapped open and light brows scrunched over them fiercely. "Don't speak to me!"

"Then get out of my room!" I retorted.

"Get out of my house– this is my coven!"

"This is my family…" I whispered, even as I knew I had nothing to back me up. This was Tanya's home after all, and I had barged into it without warning, disrupting her life.

"Out." She growled low in her throat.

I nodded, my shoulders falling, the elation of the past few days suddenly having disappeared. In seconds I had all my clothing and toiletries carefully placed in my black bag.

"Time to go, I suppose," I sighed, half to myself, before realizing a very smug Tanya was holding the door open for me, a gleaming smile on her face. I forced myself to return the grin, every bit as smug as she was. "Goodbye." I even managed to wave, even as my stomach fell, and fell, and fell… everything changed so quickly.

"And don't try to get Edward—" she glowered at the name "—to vouch for you."

"It hadn't crossed my mind." And truthfully it had not. From the very first moment Tanya told me to leave, I knew I could not ask Edward to help me. That would be unfair; this was Tanya's home and these were her rules.

"Ready Bella?" Edward asked, appearing through the front door as I stepped into the foyer. He saw the slump of my shoulders and the defeated look in my eye.

I tried to force a smile, but it was pathetic.

"What's wrong, Bella?" His arm was suddenly around my waist, pulling me against him, and his other hand cupped my cheek. I melted into the embrace, resting my head against his chest, feeling his muscles tighten beneath my fingers.

"Tanya wants me to leave," I mumbled.

He pulled away, his eyes scrutinizing my face. "You're kidding, right?" I shook my head. A grin began to tug at the corners of his lips. He only hid it for a second, before pressing me against the banister at the bottom of the stairs and kissing me deeply.

I was the first to pull away this time, my head spinning with confusion and euphoria. "What are you so happy about? What if someone sees?" I forced a good amount of space between us and crossed my arms, gripping the sides of my shirt to keep myself from attacking him.

"This is perfect. We don't have to leave now, we can just leave."

"What? That's the same thing!" Edward was not making any sense.

"Bella, Bella, Bella, that was the surprise!"

"Surprise?"

"We had to wait until the end of the week so that Esme could secretly pack up all our clothes– that's why she was doing 'laundry' so much. And Carlisle had to ease out of his job, because he had to give notice and they had to find a replacement… so much silly stuff that's now over!" He was speaking quickly, leaning towards me. His fingers stroked my arm feverishly, and he finished his explanation with a little jump, one that brought him ever closer.

I stared at him for a long time, watching as the excitement in his eyes dimmed to a normal level. Apparently they had been planning to leave. "And you didn't tell me? You put me through the torture of having to think I would spend my entire life hiding from her and them with you and you didn't bother telling me we were—"

He silenced me with a long, slow kiss. Someone whooped.

I gasped and slipped away from him, folding myself into the corner. Perhaps they would think Edward was kissing air and go away.

"You don't have to hide anything from us, Bella. We're hurt!" Irina smirked, Kate clapping delicately beside her.

I could not quiet the relieved sigh that escaped me.

Edward stepped away from me, a sheepish grin on his face. "I'll meet you in the car while you say goodbye."

"Goodbye?" I asked. It was hard to grasp the fact that we were leaving. First Tanya, then Edward…

"Goodbye!" Kate reached forward and tugged me into her arms, embracing me with an iron grip. "You've given me hope, Bella. I'm going to go out and find a man for myself now!" She laughed, only half sarcastic.

"I'm with Kate," Irina started, hugging me tightly. "And I think we'll find a man for Tanya too. She's been so cranky lately– it's time we fix that."

"She punched a hole in the wall, if that's what you call cranky," I said doubtfully.

Irina nodded, thoughtful. "Yes, that's Tanya. We used to think she should be a redhead, with that feistiness."

"I resent that," Kate huffed. Irina and I frowned, turning to her.

"You're not a redhead, Kate," I stated, confused.

She rolled her eyes. "I know that. I've been with a ton of redheaded men, though, and they were all pretty laid back– none of that 'fiery temper' stuff."

"The women are the ones you have to watch out for. They're like pariahs." Irina shuddered.

I could not control my laughter, allowing it to bubble over like champagne and receiving bemused looks from the she-vampires. "I think you meant 'piranhas'."

Kate giggled into her palm while Irina seethed. "Whatever," she muttered.

"Bella?" Esme's voice drifted through the open door.

Kate's face fell. "I guess this is goodbye."

"Goodbye," I sighed, clasping their hands tightly and then letting my fingers loosen and slip away. "I'll send you letters!"

"We'll send you pictures of men!" Kate, always the joker.

I shook my head, chuckling to myself as I stepped outside. The wind immediately whipped my hair about, like the writhing snakes on Medusa's head. Edward's familiar fingers brushed the strands from my face and something hard snapped my hair into place. "A clip," he explained, grinning.

I laughed. "So now you're a hairdresser, too? Is there anything you're not good at?"

"I'll let you know," he promised, leading me to the end of the drive where Esme and Carlisle stood together.

"Now Bella," Esme began, approaching me immediately and nearly pushing Edward out of the way. "I brought a winter coat for you, for when we get near the cities and you need some kind of protection so you don't get cold."

"Thank you, Es—"

"I'm just carrying one bag for Carlisle, Edward, and I," she plowed on, "because we can always buy more clothing later, but feel free to take your own clothes."

"Alright, Esm—"

"I want to make sure you're fine with this," she continued in one breath. "We're going to Rochester, New York, and we're starting a new life there, Bella. It's all beginning again: Carlisle is getting a job as a doctor, you and Edward will have to go to school, and I'll play the charade of a housewife."

"Okay-Esme-I'm-completely-fine-thank-you!" I rushed in one breath, getting it out before she had a chance to cut me off again.

She beamed, enveloping me in a motherly embrace. "I'm so glad, Bella." She paused thoughtfully. "We'll have to give you a part in this play, too."

I cocked my head confusedly. Play?

"Carlisle and I are married, of course– as we are in reality. Edward is pretending to be my brother. You…" She tapped her chin, pursing her lips. The honey eyes focused on my face again, glimmering thoughtfully. "We'll think of it later, then."

"Time to leave?" Carlisle asked, smiling; his teeth gleamed, reflecting the scarce light.

Esme strolled towards him and they stood together, as though joined by the hip, the way they always seemed to be. "Time to leave," she echoed.

"Time to leave," Edward sighed.

My brow furrowed, eyes darting between them. Was I supposed to go next? "Time to leave…?" It came out as a question. Edward snickered at my expression and leaned down to peck me on the cheek. I looked immediately to Esme and Carlisle, afraid they had seen. They were watching us with strange expressions– warm, blissful ones.

Esme's caramel hair danced in the wind, a smile quirked her florid lips. "Thank You," she mouthed, as though I had done her a great favor by seducing her makeshift son.

I broke our gaze, turning instead to Edward and tussling his soft, bronze locks, creating even more disarray. "We'll finally get to spend time alone…" I winked, watching with satisfaction as a breathtaking, crooked grin appeared on his handsome face. I longed to kiss those tempting lips, but decided it would be a good idea to keep the public displays to a minimum.

"Let's get going, darling," I teased, remembering from one of our discussions that he disliked pet names.

"I'll get you going," I thought I heard him mutter, but it was lost in the wind.

Our journey consisted of Carlisle, a map, and many defenseless animals. I might have been tempted to go back to the Denali Coven and beg for re-entrance, but having Edward at my side made the boring journey slightly more… interesting.

We alternated hunting to remain inconspicuous; Carlisle and Esme went one day, then a few days later Edward and I would go. These few hours out of the watchful eyes of Esme– no matter how understanding, approving, or nonjudgemental– were pure bliss.

"I have a surprise for you," Edward told me one day. We were in one of the many dense forests of Forks, Washington, passing through on our way to New York. It was funny to have just recently left New York for a new life, only to find that new life back in New York.

"What is it?" I asked, unable to keep the unadulterated excitement from my voice. After days of unvarying travel, I was easily pleased.

"Come with me." His fingers intertwined with mine and he began tugging me along a faded path.

"But Edward…" I struggled effortlessly, truly curious but feeling guilty. "What about Esme and Carlisle?"

I was suddenly in his arms, one of his alabaster hands tucked behind my knees and the other cradled beneath my neck. "If you struggle, I'll have to carry you."

"Too late," I scoffed, writhing in his grip. "I have a power, you know."

I made the mistake of meeting his eyes, and the fury in mine melted as his smoldering topaz irises met my own, the gold ever brighter against the dark pupil. I felt my tense muscles relax as he leaned forward, always holding my gaze, and brushing his lips against mine.

I stretched my neck, wanting to deepen the kiss, but Edward pulled away, grinning triumphantly. "And apparently I have a power, as well!"

I narrowed my eyes as he began to run, and he skidded to a sudden stop, his eyes widening. His expression was one of intense concentration as he focused on running. He moved no faster than an average human and I could see, with glee, his frustration building, his arms tiring under my weight. I attempted to muffle my laughter by turning my face to the side of his neck, all the while breathing in his hypnotic scent, but he caught on.

"Bella," he growled.

I met his eyes, biting my lip coyly. "I'm sorry… who has the power?"

He muttered something indecipherable.

"What was that?" I cocked my head, jutting my lower lip in an obnoxious pout.

"You've got the power." Edward scowled.

I grinned gloatingly. "That's right, Edward. I've got the power."

"I can read minds," he whined, finally placing me on the ground. I released my hold on his strength, allowing it to seep back into him. He looked relieved.

"I'm sure you can darling, but in this setting—" I waved at the green, spring forest around us and, more importantly, at the lack of people "—I always win."

He sighed and forced a smile. "I feel so helpless around you. You're supposed to be the damsel in distress, not me."

I burst out laughing at the thought of Edward in a flimsy gown sitting atop a door less tower guarded by a dragon, waving a white scarf and hoping his prince would come– Edward, not the dragon. His look of annoyance grew more pronounced now, his rosy, bottom lip falling into an irresistible pout. Suddenly I stepped closer to him, our bodies so near each other, they seemed to be trapped in a magnetic attraction, but with a clear border between. The mood changed as I watched him lick his lips.

Edward erased the border. His arms circled my waist, pressing me to him, and his lips sought out my own, caressing them. I let one hand remain trapped between our bodies, clutching the material of his shirt like a life-vest, while my other hand trailed over the back of his neck, feeling the goosebumps form with every kiss.

He leaned against a tree and hooked his fingers through the loops of my shorts, pulling me as close as I could get in the conditions, his lips never leaving my own. I ran my tongue over his bottom lip, tracing the familiar curve, the perfect smoothness, and moaning as his mouth opened to me and our tongues teased each other. Instantaneously, he had spun us around, the tree's rough bark scraped my back as he pressed his body against mine, almost harshly, but with passion.

"Bella…? Edward…?" Esme's soft call broke us apart.

We leaned our foreheads against together, panting for unnecessary breaths, our bodies curved toward each other.

"We… should go," I managed.

"Yes… we… should," Edward breathed. His lips were inching toward mine again, and I could feel my eyes beginning to shut, watching the haze darken his; but another call from Esme, this time closer, snapped us apart.

"Coming!" I called back, as Edward stumbled away from me, his feet crunching leaves. "We'll have to finish that later," I whispered as I passed him by, my voice lower than usual.

Edward blinked rapidly before tripping after me. "I'll have to show you that special place another time." And I would not see The Meadow until many years later.


	16. EPILOUGE

Chapter 23

Seven years later

Epilogue

Edward and Bella got married in New York, just before the family moved again. They were married on the seventh year anniversary that they met in New York. The ceremony was held at midnight, and they had the honeymoon in Rio de Janeiro.

Bella and Edward have lived apart from their family for ten years now (the family was slightly disgusted with the constant sex). Esme gave them a home in Canada, far enough away from civilization so that no one would ever chance upon them. Good thing too. They'd go deaf and blind from what they would see and hear. Not a good thing.

After the ten year mark (when they get their lust and shit together) they rejoin their old family.

THE END!

* * *

**Hey guys!**

**So I've had several of my dedicated readers, and a few new ones, ask me via PM if there was any way they could be updated on my work and my interactions on FanFiction other than my profile and author notes. Several of them because they don't read the author's notes and others because they like to have a face and a voice to a name. **

**But personally, I think it's a great idea simply because it lets you get to see a little bit of my personal life and also it allows you to get more frequent and more accurate and updated information. As well as I can explain things, such as where I've been and whatnot-you know, the things that I put in authors notes that I know not very many people read (I'm guilty of that occasionally as well).**

**SO! I've uploaded a poll on my profile page that you can all go to and you can choose up to five options that I've put up. If you think of another that I haven't done, then feel free to PM me and I'll add it to the poll.**

**Please, please, please go and vote. I love interacting with you guys so much and I'm willing to jump on the chance whenever I get it. **

**Have a wonderful day, Happy Readings, and go vote!**


End file.
